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Rating: 4 out of 5
During a flight from Los Angeles to Kansas City, I was bored and scrolled through the numerous options of films. As I scrolled, the film Abigail caught my eye. I wanted to watch it when it came to movie theaters, but for some reason, I didn’t. I likely didn’t want to spend money on it at the time and wait for it to come out on streaming. I’m not really a big horror movie fan. BUT I must say that I highly enjoyed Abigail, and it is one of the films that you should watch during Halloween season. If you are looking for a crazy, sometimes hilarious, over-the-top vampire movie, then look no further than Abigail.
Directed by Matt Bettinelli-Olpin and Tyler Gillett and written by Stephen Shields and Guy Busick, Abigail is a vampire movie where a little girl terrorizes her food. Young ballet dancer Abigail (Weir) is kidnapped by six criminals and taken to the secluded Wilhelm Manor. The group’s leader, Lambert (Esposito), instructs them to guard Abigail for the next 24 hours. If they do, they will receive an equal share of a $50 million ransom to be paid by her dad. Que Chris Tucker: “50 MILLION DOLLARS?!?! Who do you think you kidnapped? Chelsea Clinton.” Oh, I crack myself up sometimes. Sorry. The group uses their aliases to cover their identities, but the group consists of former Army medic and recovering drug addict Joey (Barrera), former NYPD detective Frank (Stevens), blonde but thrill junkie hacker Sammy (Newton), former Marine sniper Rickles (Catlett), dumb as fuck mob enforcer Peter (Durand), and high as fuck driver Dean (Cloud).
Joey is tasked with taking care of and making sure Abigail is okay. Joey is sympathetic to her, sharing small details about her son, and Pinky promises to protect Abigail from harm. Abigail, in turn, says that her dad doesn’t give two shits about her and will not pay the ransom before strongly apologizing for what is about to happen. This scares the shit out of Joey, who tells the group. Frank, forgetting his mask, bursts through the door and violently confronts Abigail, learning that her father is Kristof Lazaar, a powerful crime lord who seems to manage to kill anyone even with the tightest security.
The crew gets wasted, and Joey reveals everything she knows about the group. Yet, things start to get weird as strange things happen with a TV turning on and several low sounds. Dean goes to the basement when he is suddenly attacked by someone. Sammy finds his decapitated head, and shit starts going crazy. After a quick talk, they believe that Lazaar’s legendary enforcer, Valdez, is in the house and playing games with them. The pair split up to search the house, and Joey and Rickles went one way. Joey turns her head for a second when Rickles is killed. The group confronts Abigail. Abigail plays scared when she starts to laugh and turn into a muthafuckin vampire. SHIT JUST GOT REAL!
I’m going to stop the story right there because if you’ve seen the trailer, you know Abigail is a vampire. I honestly believe that this movie was entertaining and crazy. For the most part, it hangs on the stupidity of the kidnappers and how Abigail plays around with them. When the crew goes up to her room to kill her, Joey tells them not to because she will see it coming. Sure enough, they get their asses handed to them while Abigail lets them go with their tails between their legs. Another scene is when Abigail just dances around while Sammy is in her control, and it is strange to watch but entertaining simultaneously.
What I like about this film is the blood and guts because it doesn’t hold back in those areas. First, Abigail doesn’t drink blood like a lady. Homegirl ballerina outfit is covered in blood and she doesn’t mind being an animal. When people are turned into vampires and they are hit by sunlight, there is no bursting into flames. Oh, no. They explode and cover the whole room in blood. Not enough Lysol and bleach in the world to clean that mess up.
All the actors and actresses did an amazing job. The one who stood out the most and made this film was Alisha Weir as Abigail. Weir was perfect in this role as she was funny, violent, cursed like a sailor, goaded everyone, and even sounded as innocent as the centuries-old vampire with the appearance of a 12-year-old girl. She was great in every scene as she danced around the house, attacked and mocked people. I have to applaud her acting skills because this film would’ve sucked major ass without her.
Abigail is the realest, and Universal seems to have a new vampire queen. Universal has brought Megan and Abigail to the big screens of creepy ass little girls. Abigail was a joy to watch. It’s funny, insane, and will keep you entertained. Watch this film with other vampire movies.
BONUS CLIPS!!!
