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Rating: 1.75 out of 5
If you don’t have Tubi, you need to download it. It is a free streaming service that is on par with many of the major streaming services. It usually has some movies that are not that old, around a year or two old, straight from the theater. I do want to say that Tubi also has A LOT of B-movies and maybe even C-movies. Movies where the acting is hilarious or bad, the story is all over the place, and many other things. Some movies are so bad that they might be bad or a little good. There are some trashy movies on this streaming service, and I am here for them. I will fully admit that I went down a rabbit hole by watching the films. Maybe it was to see nudity or veg out, but damnit, I was entertained for a while, and almost every movie I told myself, “WTF is going on?”
Today’s movie is one of those films that I went down the rabbit hole. The movie that I have the pleasure of introducing you to is Murdercise. Let me tell you that this film is all over the place. I’m not going to bury this movie by saying it was awful and all that. It’s a B-movie. I didn’t have high hopes for the film, but I will say that I was entertained quite a bit. First, the story was funny and will make you shake your head as it seems so stupid. The start of the film was a shower scene where a woman calls the police and gets murdered by two men who were impersonating the police and killing women. Yup, that is the start of the film. The film then turns to a crotch shot and ass shaking women making a fitness video. You can tell it is sleezy.
We are introduced to the girls making an aerobics fitness video. The girls are Phoebe (Bowling), an innocent, fitness-loving girl with standards. In contrast, the other girls are big boob, maybe an adult film star and her rival Candy (Flux), Nikki (Uchishiba), Monique (Dementieva) and Cassandra (Shay). The prize is being the cover girl on the box cover. We all need dreams. Phoebe becomes upset as she can see the sexualization of the video and wants to take the job seriously. Phoebe and Candy go at it until Isabella shows up because her mom wants to ensure she stays out of trouble. Isabella is a mafia princess who loves drugs and her mom, played by former mega porn star Ginger Lynn, loves to sleep around.
When the financier leaves, he leaves Phoebe in charge, and the night goes downhill as Isabella has a strong influence. Candy takes the opportunity to show a horror movie she is in, which is as bad as the actual film. The crew decided to skip making the aerobics film, drink, smoke weed, and watch movies instead. Phoebe storms off with Isabella following. Isabella cheers up Phoebe by saying she needs to be more forceful. Isabella has the perfect idea. She gives Phoebe cocaine. Yup, white girl, smack, cocaine baby. With one hit, Phoebe becomes energetic and confronts Candy. For some reason, Candy wants Phoebe to touch her boobs. Instead, Phoebe gets a weapon and kills her.
At this point, shit gets wild or shall I say Phoebe. Someone questions Phoebe, and boom, they are dead, but Phoebe knows how to play the innocent card as she is coked up, and Isabella seems cool with it. The fake cops that were at the beginning come around, and things get even crazier. I think one person gets killed with a bottle, and Phoebe goes H.A.M. on the fake cops because things get weird. In the end, Phoebe saves everyone, even though she’s a killer, and she is named the box cover model.
I will give props to Kansas Bowling. I honestly liked the way she portrayed Phoebe. The film was basically all about her. I liked how she was disgusted initially, and so sweet and innocent. I found the change that Kansas made in Phoebe after she took cocaine. She made Phoebe energetic, wide-eyed, and all over the place. It was funny to watch. Kansas Bowling also hit the big time with being in a Tarantino film. So, you know she has great skills as an actress.
That is the whole movie. Honestly, it’s bad, but it is entertaining. Even though you might not know anyone or care for anyone because they are not worth knowing, you will get a laugh at the absurdity of this film. It will make you want to go down a rabbit hole, see more B-movies, and see how off-the-wall they are.
