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Rating: 2 out of 5
Girls, Guns and Blood. Sounds like the making of an excellent video game for the male audience. Thank God for Tubi for bringing this film to the forefront of my recommendations. I don’t know why, but it appeared, and the male in me thought this was a fascinating movie to watch. What could go wrong? The expectations were low going into this film, but it stars my favorite porn star, Britney Amber. This is a low-budget film. Really low budget. A really low-budget film that blended beautiful women, murder, revenge, action, comedy, and the highest sex appeal.
Girls, Guns, and Blood is directed by Thegin German and Robert Rowland, and they ensured this was a wild movie. Monique, played by Rebecca Love, is the boss, queen bitch, HBIC of a Texas brothel. Monique has developed a culture where the brothel is fun to work at and a place where her female employees can get men off. Monique’s main girls at the brothel are Kitty (Christine Nguyen), Trix (Britney Amber), Berretta (Kleio Valentien), and Angel (Cody Renee Cameron). Monique sets up a private party for a group of rich, high rollers, which she believes will bring in BIG money for the girls. The girls are excited, but the high rollers are not who they claim they are. Led by Jamie (James W. Evermore), the group is a team of thieves planning to rob Monique and the brothel. As Jamie and his crew approach, one of his crew, the freakin black dude (SMH), jumps out of the vehicle and does this slow-motion roll through the air before running off. It is truly a WTF scene, but we are just getting started.
When Jamie and his men arrive, they go in and seem like the normal crowd looking for a good time. Monique’s girls have no idea what is about to happen when, boom, the men attack and take everything while shooting the bouncer and knocking out Monique. When Monique suddenly wakes, she pulls her gun and tries to shoot back, but is killed in “dramatic” fashion. When Monique’s girls figure out what happened, they vow to track down and get their revenge. In a scene that is literally out of a video game, each one walks out of the brothel and displays their own gun. All that was missing from the scene were explosions and fancy one-liners from each character.
If you thought the first half of the film was good, just wait until the second half. The second half of the film is where things get wild as the girls track down every person they can find. Each girl takes on a respective member of Jamie’s crew. Each one kills each member in a wild way, but it’s all almost sexual. I would say it detracts from the film, but when you have a movie called Girls, Guns, and Blood, you had better expect blood to show up.
One dude tries to run and gets shot in a funny way. The scene with Trix is wild. First, they catch a man and then strip him naked. Then Trix lays the man down, steps over him and I believe pisses all over him. It is wild. The scene with Angel and Berretta is also crazy and shows that the girls went through some tough ass training. There was an ax, and the slow-motion hand-to-hand combat was fun to watch. I see you Angel doing your moves and kicking ass along with Berretta. Once again, all you were missing were explosions and a catchy one-liner.
Don’t worry, if you want nudity, this film sure does have it because each one does get naked at one point in the movie. Now, the jokes are either spot on or will lead you to scratch your head. Once again, this is a movie called Girls, Guns and Blood. Now the film does have some twist ending or twist segment where you are like, “That Bitch! How could she do that?” I leave that up to you to find out.
Honestly, I’m not going to bash the acting. All the girls did a great job. With the title, I hope you were not expecting some mind-blowing acting. For this type of movie, it was well done. Rebecca Love was funny as the head woman. Christine Nguyen seemed to be the star of the film and was witty and spicy every so often. Cody Renee Cameron was equally good and entertaining. Homegirl can twirl and flip that little body around. Kleio Valentien didn’t say much in the film but looked badass. My love, Britney Amber, was terrific. Oh, do I love that woman? She is beautiful and can do no wrong in my eyes.
Girls, Guns and Blood is one of those films that is not for everyone. Is it a classic film? Nope. Is it a bad film with fun acting? A little. I didn’t have any expectations going into this film, and I found it enjoyable. It has a lot of nudity and sexual dialogue, but I was okay with it. Britney Amber, I LOVE YOU!!!
