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Rating: 2.5 out of 5
I remember when Twister first came out. A movie about tornados and how destructive they can be. At the time, I thought Twister was a great movie. Hell, they even had a ride at Universal Studios about it. When you get a ride at Universal Studios, you must be the s**t, right? Then I think about Waterworld, and my opinion falls by the wayside on that. So recently, I decided to watch Twister on Netflix. Trying to relive my childhood all over again, hoping that the movie would entertain me like it did before. Well, the film did entertain me but not in the way that I desired.
The movie started out in 1969, and we are introduced to a family. The dad watches the news as his daughter, named Jo, sleeps soundly in her. The TV states that a tornado warning is in effect. The dad hurries and gets Jo and his wife to lead them to a cellar. As usual, the dog is the last freakin thing to realize that danger is around. You a freakin animal! Use them animal instincts. The family manages to get in the cellar, but the door is one of the most pathetic doors one will ever see. The dad runs over to hold the door down, and like a predictable plot, the door gets blown away along with the dad. Now, how doesn’t anyone else get sucked up? Whatever, on to the movie. Jo watches her dad die, and the story moves on.
Twister then picks up twenty-seven years later. Bill Harding (Paxton) is driving with his fiancé Melissa to finally get his divorce papers signed by his ex-wife Jo (Hunt). We find that Jo is very reluctant to sign the documents and is still in love with Bill. As Bill becomes reacquainted with the crew that he left, we learn that Jo and her team have made Dorothy. This device can analyze tornados from the inside and help with making emergency systems way better. The movie then goes into overdrive as Bill reluctantly decides to rejoin the team and wants to send Dorothy in the air while helping Jo and the team find success.
The story is pretty bland and okay. The whole movie is pretty much-chasing tornados around to analyze them. The crazy thing is that there are people called storm chasers who do this for a living. What in God’s name wants you to chase a tornado around that can suck yo ass up and throw you away like a rag doll. Which brings me to my second point of this film. You know what you don’t see??? Black people. No black person going to chase a tornado around. You really have to be out of yo mind to chase a tornado.
Somehow, this movie has two antagonists—one in Jonas Miller (Elwes) and a tornado. You can’t have a film without a tornado being the bad guy, even though a tornado really doesn’t care. Well, just like all movies, Miller is a person who is trying to take credit for an idea he didn’t come up with. While Jo and Bill make Dorothy, Miller makes DOT. Yep, original name right there but who really cares He is arrogant, snobby and full of it. Spoiler alert! Miller dies to a tornado.
Now the logic behind most of this film goes out of the window. For example, the first tornado is cool. It tears up a barn-like, it was nothing, and when Jo and Bill can’t set up in time, they take cover under the smallest and dinky little wooden bridge ever. What happens? The truck is picked up and blown away, but the bridge has a few planks taken away but somehow lives and stays. The next tornado is a water tornado, and once again, Jo and Bill find themselves in the middle of it. Well, they drive to it and get caught when three tornados combine in one. Someone a cow gets picked up, but the truck just spins on the road. Does it make sense of how they are still alive? Nope! Not at all.
Now the third tornado in this film is probably the best. I don’t know if it was two tornados or just one that came back for seconds and thirds because it was the most iconic one. The first time we see the tornado, it is a beast! It brings on some major hail before disappearing. Now, this is where the film thinks the tornado can be intimidating. While at a drive-in theater, the film makes the tornado seem like its freakin Godzilla! It shows up and destroys the movie screen like it was nothing. Oh, you know what was playing?? The Shinning. Once again, no one gets sucked up.
The real excitement was with the final tornado that is an F-5. The biggest and monster of a storm. How does one make this storm exciting? Got to throw in a tanker truck falling from the sky and exploding. Next, you have stuff falling from the sky as the passage in your car says left, right, left, right like a tango dance. You can’t forget about a house rolling through the street. Now, this is where the movie gets really crazy. Jo and Bill hit that Usain Bolt speed and outrun a tornado into a barn. We are introduced to the world’s wildest tornado scene. Bill and Jo hang on to a metal pipe that is in the ground as the barn is destroyed. How do they survive? What genius thing they do to survive? They tie themselves in the world’s strongest leather strap. Everything is gone, but that leather strap was so sturdy it kept them from blowing away. I need to find me a leather strap like that.
The best part of this film is the special effects of the tornados. We get to see how powerful a tornado is. They rip shit up and leave nothing behind. Actually, you might be better off watching National Geographic. National Geographic probably has way more interesting and exciting footage of a tornado than this film. Once again, the special effects are pretty good. The whole water tornado scene was pretty good. That scene brought on the iconic cow scene. That poor cow just afraid and mooing across the screen.
The acting was pretty okay/bad. Bill Paxton was Bill Paxton. How does this film have not one but two Academy Award winners? Oh, wait! This was before they won the Academy Awards. Hunt won one for As Good as it Gets, and then we have Philip Seymour Hoffman, who won for Capote. Why is it that Hoffman played the weird person in the beginning? Overall, don’t expect some groundbreaking acting.
Overall, Twister is a pretty good movie if you are looking for some mind-numbing destruction and acting. If you are looking for a Summer movie full of loud noises, this film is for you. If not, you can watch National Geographic and watch that.
