Troy (2004)

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Via: Warner Bros Pictures

Rating: 2.5 out of 5

Greek mythology was one of my favorite topics in World History. There are countless tales in Greek Mythology, from the Gods like Zeus, Hera, and Poseidon to famous heroes like Perseus, Hercules, and Jason. One story that is famously taught usually revolves around the Trojan War and the Trojan Horse. The epic war between the Trojan and Greeks that was pretty much over a woman.

Via: Warner Bros. Pictures

Based on the famous poem, The Iliad, from Homer, Troy is a film that tries to tell the tale of the Trojan War and the famous warrior Achilles. Long ago, in the year 1250 B.C. Sparta and Troy have agreed to peace. During the peace celebrations, Paris (Bloom), the Trojan prince, convinces Helen (Kruger), Queen of Sparta, to leave her husband, Menelaus (Gleeson), and sail with him back to Troy. When Menelaus finds out that his woman was taken by the Trojan, he asks his brother Agamemnon (Cox) to help him get her back. Agamemnon wanting power to rule overall, sees the perfect opportunity to spread his mighty rule and sets off to form the greatest army the known world has seen. One thing stands in his way, and it is the bad relationship he has with the greatest Greek warrior, Achilles (Pitt). Achilles decides to join the battle for his name to live on forever and fight against Troy’s greatest warrior Hector (Bana).

I am sorry to say that this was not the Trojan War film that was amazing and great. It was actually pretty pathetic on many levels. If anyone knows anything about Greek mythology, then they would know that the Trojan War was the shit and an over the top war during that time. How do we know??? It is still told today after thousands of years. If anyone ever read the classic Odyssey in school, you will know that the Trojan War was a big deal.

Via: Warner Bros. Pictures

On the other hand, Troy made this a laughable version that could be skipped, but you have to stay and watch to see Brad Pitt do his thing. So where does the film go wrong, you might ask? Well, the first thing is with the time structure of the whole war. The Trojan War was a ten-year war where a lot of s**t happened. There was a lot of drama between many of the characters, but you think the war only took about a month to complete when watching Troy. Yes, the Greeks took over the beach and tried many times to breach the walls but were unsuccessful. This film had like three battles and then the Trojan Horse and then done! Where were the plagues?

One of my biggest gripes against this film is that it humanized everyone and didn’t have any gods. Let me repeat that. A GREEK MYTHOLOGY FILM HAD NO GREEK GODS! There was no Zeus (who remained neutral), Hera, Ares, Poseidon, Aphrodite, Athena, no one! They helped the most out of all the characters in trying to decide the war.

Via: Warner Bros. Pictures

I want to give Brad Pitt some props. He tried to make this an Academy Award performance, but it wasn’t going to happen. The film made Achilles strong and the best fighter, but he was pretty much a GOD in his own right. He did the work and put on the muscle mass along with showing those golden locks. Many know his story as his mother put him in the river to be impenetrable against all hard but his one Achilles. This film ignored many of that and just made him a very skilled swordsman. Naw homie! This dude was a bringer of death on the battlefield.

Maybe I need to backtrack for a quick second. The film does show Achilles as a beast on the battlefield but only for three occasions. The first one was during the opening scene when he took down the big dude in one strike. You saw that and were like, okay, dude is the real deal but maybe a lucky strike. Then when he stormed the beach with his men on the first day, the dude was an all-out war machine. Homeboy threw that spear like it was a toothpick. Nicest throw I have ever seen. Finally, his battle with Hector. Even though Hector was on a level of his own, he was nowhere close to an angry Achilles. That is what made this movie decent. Watching Achilles fight was an art form, and the way he moved was just smooth and effortless.

Via: Warner Bros. Pictures

When I said I was expecting more drama between the characters, I was expecting a lot more. Pretty much the whole movie was between King Agamemnon of Mycenae and Achilles. Agamemnon thought he was larger than life king. Achilles thought he was a poor and useless leader and couldn’t win without him. That is what the movie missed greatly. The Greeks got their ass handed to them when Achilles decided to not fight over a female. It just showed one skirmish where Achilles’ cousin Patroclus dies at Hector’s hands, and then Achilles went on his Drake mode and was looking for revenge.

I want to state this because I think it is very important. What the film did with Hector was extremely well done. I’m going to bring it back to the year 1997 when The Odyssey was made into a miniseries. In that miniseries, Hector, to me, was a punk. He rode around in his golden armor and got a spear through his chest by Achilles. For years I didn’t like Hector, but this movie changed my views of the man. The film made him a very sympatric figure, and it couldn’t have been done without the amazing work of Eric Bana. Bana showed Hector as a man who cared for peace, family, and country yet was stuck because he had to defend his home. He saw the error in Paris’ ways along with not wanting to fight but had to. The one scene that I thought showed Hector with such sorrow was when he accidentally killed Patroclus and knew death was knocking at his door. The next day as he said goodbye to all his family and stood at the gate, he knew that he wouldn’t come back. It showed how great of a hero to Troy he really was.

This film had a lot of people in it—first the legendary Peter O’Toole as Priam. O’Toole would’ve made a great Zeus if this movie had any gods. He has such a deep and commanding voice that he should’ve been cast as the King of the Gods. Yet, as Priam, he did his part. Orlando Bloom as Paris was Orlando Bloom. I don’t hate Bloom, but can we get a little emotion out of your characters. It seems like you play the same role with the same tone for every role. Diane Kruger, as Helen, was beautiful and eye candy. She did her thing but not anything over the top. How about Brian Cox as Agamemnon? You want to talk about making you hate a character. This dude did it and then some.

Would I want troy again? Yea, if I didn’t have anything else to do. Is it a great Greek mythology movie? Maybe if you want to learn the character’s name and about the Trojan Horse. Overall, the film could’ve been far better than it was. The power of Pitt and Bana couldn’t have this film at all. If you are looking for something else, watch the 1997 miniseries of The Odyssey. You will get way more out of that.

Via: Warner Bros Pictures
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