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Rating: 0.5 out of 5
What do you get when you mix a social media star personality with an escape room and a horror-type movie that is supposed to be a thriller but is actually awful? That movie is No Escape. That is such an original name right there because you wish to escape from watching this film.
The premise of this whole movie is a world-famous social media personality, Cole Turner (Allen), is invited by his friend Dash (Janko), I think to travel to Moscow to capture new content for his successful VLOG. Cole is accompanied by his group of friends: Dash, Erin (Roden), Thomas (Whitaker), and Sam (Siya). Cole is known for pushing the limits of his content and catering to his growing audience. With a chance to produce one-in-a-kind content by doing an escape room with his friends, he soon learns that the lines between the real world and what is put on social media can become blurred with death and fear.
Actually, let me start this off with, when did escape rooms become so popular in film all of a sudden? There is Escape Room, and it’s soon to be sequel. We have this movie, then I just saw another horror movie called No Escape Room. I want to do an escape room, but it is getting to the point that if I am going to die in one, then I might as well not even try it.
I wanted to escape from this movie the first 10 minutes when I was introduced to Cole. There is nothing more annoying in this world than a social media person who fakes images and content to appeal to the masses. Everyone is fake and tries to make themselves seem more important by pushing the boundaries of what is right and what is wrong.
It was somewhat okay for Cole to fly all the way to Moscow to do an escape room. He couldn’t find one in the United States. There is probably some creepy escape room he could try. Whatever, his friends convince him to go because it would be one in a kind type of escape room. With all movies like this, we have to turn serious when they friends party in a club and Cole is too busy on his phone, making content to notice his “girl” Erin is being harassed. Then this turns into a significant threat.
Somehow, Cole ends up in this dungeon-like area for the game. Honestly, the film tried to have this whole feeling of being a rundown version of Saw 20. He thinks it is a joke as people are in deadly traps. Dash, the most annoying character, is in one of those spiked coffins. Thomas is getting stretched alive. As they complain about the machine hurting, Cole just skips along like nothing is wrong until he figures out the puzzles. Dash once again messes around when trying to free Sam. The aww shit moment comes when Erin is locked in a structure that fills with water.
Things take a turn when the friends are again captured. They appear to be brutally murdered one by one for a Russian underground social media brand. Now that I think about it, it tried to have this Hostel feel to it. No wonder I didn’t like this film. It couldn’t make up its mind if it wanted to be Saw or Hostel or some other movie, and yet it failed miserably. Then the ending was a complete and utter joke. The reaction that Cole gave might actually happen, and people are shocked. Stupidest thing I have ever seen.
Every character is straight-up forgettable. I am going to talk about two people because I feel like in a film this bad, I might as well talk about someone. Keegan Allen as Cole Turner was the ultimate annoying person, even though he played his character like many are portrayed in real life or IRL as it is called. Holland Roden as Erin Isaacs was cute, but I just watched Teen Wolf, and you were far better in that even though I didn’t like your character in that show too much.
The title of this film is accurately correct. There is no escape when you watch this movie. Your brain will become numb and dumb as you try to navigate your way around how terrible it is. This film couldn’t make up its mind and seemed that it wanted to be a minor rip-off of Hostel but failed miserably. Go do an escape room and hope you don’t die because your brain will if you watch this film.
