0
0
Rating: 0.5 out of 5
In a world where superhero films are the talk of the town, some superheroes should never see the light of day. One of those heroes is Jonah Hex. Hex is a cynical bounty hunter whose face is horribly scarred on the right side. He is horrible to look at, just like this film. There comes a time when studios need to ask: will this hero connect with the world? With Jonah Hex, that answer is a resounding NO.
This awful film begins during the American Civil War. Jonah Hex (Brolin) decided to fight on the side of the Confederacy until he decided to betray his commanding officer, Quentin Turnbull (Malkovich), to save a hospital and killing Turnbull’s son in the process. Turnbull, along with his right-hand man, Burke (Fassbender), and crew, arrives at Hex’s home and burn it down with Hex’s wife Cassie and son Travis inside. To add insult to injury, they brand his face with a hot iron, leaving the initials QT, but Hex later removes it with a red-hot tomahawk resulting in his disfigured look. On the verge of death, a Native American tribe find and revive Hex with mystical powers. This results in Hex being present in the living and having the ability to talk to the other side by granting him the ability to temporarily resurrect and communicate with the dead. When news spread that Turnbull has died, Hex becomes a bounty hunter. As time goes on, Hex learns that Turnbull has staged his own death and has formed a group with the hope of bringing down the Union during President Grant’s administration. Grant believes the best person to stop Turnbull is Hex and hires him to save the country. With the nation preparing to celebrate Independence Day, Turnbull plans to unleash a secret military weapon. Only Hex and an unlikely ally can stop him.
I just want to say that it took a lot to watch this film. The story is meh, the acting is huh, and the effects are dull. First, the story is beyond boring as it seems to be someone wanting to destroy the country. Honestly, it reminded me of Wild Wild West starring Will Smith. Honestly, the story could have the same concept. Also, what is up with a confederate hero? No one cares about a messed-up hero who can talk to the dead. This film was a complete mess with awful villains, a bland hero, and a sidekick that isn’t really a sidekick.
The film was so bad that it hurt my mind as I tried to figure out what to write. It just felt like there was no effort or soul to this film. People were just trying to have fun, but it was a directionless mess. I know I said this before, but no one should care about a confederate bounty hunter. I will say that Lilah was the only thing that was beautiful and worth watching.
Okay, for the cast, let’s just say that some tried and failed miserably. Josh Brolin, what were you doing, man? What was this? Good thing you came back and played an AWESOME Thanos and Cable. Once again, what the hell was this crap? Megan Fox as Lilah Black was decent. She was there just for eye candy as she was good at throwing a nice punch. John Malkovich as Quentin Turnbull was just there and didn’t wow you as a major villain. Malkovich is way too good as an actor to not seem to care. Michael Fassbender as Burke was wild and seemed to be crazy. He almost seemed like the best part of the whole film.
Listen, there are many superhero films out there. There will be a few misfires. Jonah Hex is a major misfire. Brolin tried and failed to make an impact. Great thing that Marvel came along. Honestly, leave this mess of a “superhero” film at home and enjoy something else.
