Dead Silence (2007)

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Via: Universal Pictures

Rating: 1 out of 5

The horror genre can take anything and turn it into a film. If it is a simple thought in someone’s head, no matter how crazy and strange it is, Hollywood will make a feature film out of it. I would like to present to you Dead Silence. A film where Hollywood was like, let’s make a movie of a dead ventriloquist who takes revenge on a family that embarrassed her. Let’s make sure she takes revenge on this family decades after she is dead, and when they scream, she rips their tongue out. To make it interesting, let’s add a twist ending to add a simple element of horror. I’m sorry, but Dead Silence is a waste of time, and it doesn’t even come close to making fear hit any point of your body.

Via: Universal Pictures

What is Dead Silence about? What is its plot? It’s about sitting comfortably in a room with no noise. Sorry, that is not the plot. Almost in most horror films, the film shows a town with a dark history or its own ghost story. This film introduces Mary Shaw. In the 1940s, Shaw was a ventriloquist, and people enjoyed her show. During one performance, a young kid named Michael interrupted and straight up was disrespectful during her show by saying that he could see her lips move. F-Them Kids. Well, Michael disappears one night, and his family blames it on Mary and hangs her. Like in most horror films, Mary has a final wish. She would like her body to be turned into a doll and be buried with her 100-doll collection, which she considers her children. Now, Mary haunts the residents of her town and even people who have moved away. In the present, newlyweds Jamie and Lisa Ashen are living a happy life at home. One evening, they receive a strange package with a creepy ass doll. Things get creepy as Jamie leaves to go get food. When he returns, his wife is brutally murdered with her tongue ripped out. Jamie decides to return home for the funeral with the sole purpose of finding out who killed his wife, but the cops believe he killed his wife, and a pesky detective is after him. As Jamie uncovers the truth about the legend of Mary Shaw, he learns the rhythm of her: “Beware the stare of Mary Shaw. She had no children, only dolls. And if you see her in your dreams, be sure you never, ever scream.”

I have never been so bored of watching a film as this one. I wanted this film to not speak for several minutes. I am sorry, it shouldn’t have uttered one word because dead silence would’ve been better than watching this film. The most entertaining part of this whole film was the background story of Mary Shaw. Always has to be a little spoiled brat who messes it up for everyone. We get this story halfway through the film, but it is a waste of a movie because things happen, but they are not scary at all.

Via: Universal Pictures

One of the biggest pain in the ass with this story is trying to find out why Jamie’s wife was killed. We learn that Jamie’s family was cursed because the boy who was killed was his great-great-uncle. Going deep in the line to make a horror connection. The whole not screaming is laughable because if you fall off a railing, of course, you will scream.

The film tries to have scares by making the doll, Billy, creepy as hell by turning his head when no one is looking. There is only one scene that made me jump. It is the first true moment when we see Mary Shaw as a demon or ghost. She came out of that darkness like the boogeyman. Keep yourself under the bed, and next time, if you need something, go get it from someone else. Besides that one scene, everything else is laughable. Even the scene where Jamie and the detective find Mary’s doll collection. You would think that creepy dolls would be scary, but they are not. Side note. If you look closely, you should be able to spot Billy the Puppet from the Saw franchise. It is quick, and if you blink, you will miss it.

Don’t get me started on the ending. You get a quick glance at Mary, making the perfect doll. Then you forget about it until we see that Jamie’s stepmother is an actual doll. That his father’s body was turned into a doll with his stepmother controlling him. It was weird to see the stepmother having Mary’s soul inhabit it and turning everyone into a doll. There, I just gave you the ending. You have saved about 90 minutes of your life.

I’m going to end it right here. No need to watch Dead Silence. You are wasting time just thinking about watching this film. How about you pour yourself a nice glass of wine. Take out a book and sit peacefully where you are at. That would be far more entertaining.

Via: Universal Pictures
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