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Rating: 2.5 out of 5
What an epic disappointment this film was. With hopes that it would be great, Hollywood fails once again, trying to make a Japanese manga into a big-budget movie. By now, you would think that Hollywood and studios would get the picture that they suck major a** when making Japanese anime/manga into big-budget films. Case in point, Ghost in the Shell, Dragon Ball Evolution, Fist of the North Star, and Death Note. Oh, Death Note, how you still haunt my dreams and anime world to this day. Yet, there was a glimmer of hope that maybe, just maybe, this film wouldn’t be so bad……………HA! Who am I kidding, this film was terrible on so many levels.
I guess the obvious place to start is the whole plot/synopsis that was a visible mess. Alita Battle Angel is set in the 26th century. The story takes place 300 years after a significant collapse of society that was caused by a major war. Cyborg technology is the way of life now as everyone seems to be a cyborg or have some type of cyborg body type. Dr. Ido (Waltz) walks around the scrap yard and comes upon a female robot head and torso. After fixing the head up and putting a body on it, the girl (Salazar) wakes up to having no memories, yet seems to be full of life. Ido adopts her and names her Alita. Day by day, Alita learns about her new life and where she lives. Alita runs into a young boy named Hugo (Johnson), who teaches her about the most popular game called Motorball. Motorball is controlled by Vector (Ali), who also controls Iron City and is literally the eyes for the person controlling the city above. Things come ahead when Alita finds out Ido is a bounty hunter, along with discovering she has a unique fighting ability. During this discovery, the world above notices Alita and want dead at all costs.
Quite a confusing plot that goes absolutely NOWHERE! What is this whole movie like?? It is an s**t show of so many films combined, that is laughable. First, we have the Terminator/Robocop aspect as everyone seems to be a robot or have robot parts. Elements of A.I. Artificial Intelligence, as the main character, wants to be something and a child. Let’s not forget Rollerball. Can’t have a sh**y movie without a sh**y game to inspire people. That game was Rollerball. That movie was terrible, and yet it was the game the writers picked? Come on now! Let’s add in some Frankenstein because a doctor did create a girl. Let’s also go with the alien attack. You can pick the film because, from the words spoken, Mars was at war with someone 300 years ago.
One of the premises of the whole movie is to get to this one city. A city called Zalem. Apparently, Zalem is a place that is described as utopia. Zalem is the last city like it as we find out, the others are destroyed. Literally, everyone wants to get to this city because Iron City, the city below, is dirty and just outright a slum. Everyone seems to get hustling and grinding their butts off to get to this city. People think they can buy their way up to the city, yet there is only one way, and that is becoming a champion at Motorball. So pretty much, you need to turn your whole body into a badass robot and win so many times at a deadly game to get to the city of your dreams.
Where this story fails is that it is pretty damn dull. The pacing and feel are just off. Half the time, it’s like we’re learning about Alita, then it’s how Hugo wants to get to Zalem, followed by the sorriest love story I have ever seen. Let’s finish off with some type of game. The pacing and just storyline are all off. Finally, we don’t know the actual bad guy since the one presented isn’t the real mastermind. Been there and seen that! The whole movie just has that we need to make this into a franchise/trilogy movie and not care what people think vibe.
Let’s talk about the acting. Granted, this is a movie that is based on a manga but still. The good: Salazar did a great job as Alita. Not Academy Award-worthy but really good indeed. Besides that whole big eye look, Salazar’s performance was decent. She was fun-loving, free-spirited, and seemed to take on the role as a whole.
Now on to the major characters. There was not ONE, not TWO, but THREE ACADEMY AWARD winners in this film along with an Academy Award nomination and by god, no one brought their A-game. Pretty much, it was everyone’s B+ game. Jennifer Connelly, what were you doing in this film? You were honestly in the movie for like a good 15 minutes, and you seemed to be lost. Was Cherin supposed to be a vixen or a scientist that had no rival? Were you supposed to be cold and heartless or something else? Ali, as Vector, was okay. The man who controls everything in Iron City. Could’ve picked a different style. Did you watch Blade and the Matrix and was like, “I want the clothes of Neo but the attitude of Blade.” That is the vibe the character gave off. Then there is Waltz. The doctor who misses his little girl because she was killed. Waltz’s performance wasn’t terrible but not excellent. It was meh. He was very caring. Like a helicopter parent but fought against bad guys for bounties to keep his shop open. So the character and his performance was meh.
The best part of this whole film and probably the only part is the fighting/action scenes. Fists are thrown, and mechanical parts fly when they happen. The bar scene is one of the best scenes in the movie. After Alita somewhat knows she is this person that can whip ass, she goes to this hunter-warrior bar to try and recruit. She throws around a lot of insults, and then the fighting commences. It was actually pretty good. This fight actually leads Alita to getting the body that she wanted and some memories. A body that is so bad a**, it seems impossible to defeat. That body is called the “Berserker.” Alita’s power and skills jump tenfold. In the words of the great Vegeta, “POWER LEVEL OVER 9000!”
The Motorball scene was actually a letdown. The whole movie seemed to gear up for it, and the once scene we get was a head-scratcher. Yes, parts were flying and pleasant to watch, but it wasn’t one of those heart-pounding scenes. It actually felt a little dull and off.
Final thoughts??? This movie was okay. If the film just revolved around Motorball, then maybe it would’ve had a chance. Probably not, but it’s a glimmer of hope. The story was full of holes, and the action scenes were okay at times. If there is a sequel, maybe there will be some hope, but I highly doubt it.
