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Rating: 4 out of 5
One of my all-time favorite time periods in school was learning about the Greek Gods—the all-mighty and all-powerful gods that ruled the world in Ancient Greece. I remember in middle school having to do a project of the Greek Gods. The one I picked was Ares, the Greek God of War. How couldn’t you love Ares? He was the freakin’ Greek God of War!! Later on, we get the AWESOME game called God of War starring that Spartan bad-ass Kratos! You want some education about the Greek God, PLAY THAT FREAKIN’ GAME!! My first introduction with Greek Mythology was from that old-school show called Hercules: The Legendary Journeys starring Kevin Sorbo. That show was the s**t! Once again, if you want to know about the Gods, watch that show and all its characters.
Then I watched Clash of the Titans. I was like 7 or 8. That movie BLEW MY MIND!! Most people think the movie is so-so. I am telling you right now that Clash of the Titans is one of the best Greek Mythology films around. It is so over the top with animations and other stuff that you might laugh, but that is what Greek Mythology is. You got to be over the top to talk about the Gods. Zeus spread his seed around like it’s his job. Hera watched and should’ve choked his ass. Hades had to rule one of the most depressing places around. Who wants to watch dead people all day? Apollo did his thing. Aphrodite made sure people fell in love and got their freak on. Many Gods are on display in the story of one of Zeus’ offsprings: the Greek hero Perseus. The story of Perseus is a wild ride filled with monsters (I’m looking at you Medusa and RELEASE THE KRAKEN!), a beautiful princess, and many other things.
Clash of the Titans is a film loosely based on the adventures of Perseus. Perseus is pretty much famous for his fight against the snake-headed, turning everyone into stone, gorgon Medusa. How does Clash of the Titans begin? Well, it starts off with a baby Perseus and his mother, being put into a coffin type box and thrown into the sea to their death by King Acrisius (Houston) of Argos. King Acrisius learns that his wife gave birth to Zeus’ (Sir Laurence Olivier) son, the King of the Gods. Zeus was a man hoe. No doubt about it because the dude had more kids than you can think. Homeboy couldn’t keep it in his pants. Not liking what he saw, Zeus orders the god of the sea, Poseidon (Jack Gwillim), to release an ancient monster known as the Kraken to destroy Argos, fulfilling the prophecy. Perseus (Hamlin) grows up to a man with a mission in life. With gifts bestowed to him by the gods, Perseus returns to the magnificent city of Joppa. The daughter of Queen Cassiopeia (Phillips), the oh so fine and beautiful Princess Andromeda (Bowker), is to marry the hideously grotesque Calibos (McCarthy). Thetis (Smith), a sea goddess, is pissed that Zeus punished her son Calibos and not his son. Thetis tries to exact her revenge for her son. Thetis tells the people of Joppa that their city will be destroyed by the Kraken unless Andromeda sacrifices herself. Believing that he is the only hope, Perseus states that save the city and marry the princess. Little does he know to defeat one titan; he must battle and kill another titan. That titan is the one the world knows as Medusa.
The special effects in this film are out of this world. You can take that either way. Maybe it’s the Claymation that is out of this world. They might look strange and dumb today, but they make this movie go. You can’t have a film about the Greek Gods and Mythology without showing some crazy stuff. Zeus looked really supreme as he sat on his throne. That warp speed background looks like the dude has a major ego. How about when Poseidon is in the water and about to release the Kraken. Another scene that showed some of the special effects.
Actually, the special effects in this film mostly deal with the creatures of this film. I will admit that they don’t age well, but they are pretty good for their time. The Kraken looks mighty in a way, but overall, it could be a bit more terrifying. Actually, Medusa is the highlight. Her snakehead and her rattlesnake tail are quite spooky. Let’s be real; I wouldn’t want to meet her in the world. The way film shows how people turn to stone with a bright green flash. Also, the scene with the giant scorpions was pretty funny. How can I forget about Pegasus? It was pretty decent to look at, but hey, it shows the famous flying horse. Even Mount Olympus looked like a boring place.
Now, as for the film’s shooting, it seems like some parts were a movie and other parts, they took a handheld camera and said, “We going out to shoot a scene at dark.” First, the film is shot pretty well. There wasn’t anything special UNTIL we get to the Calibos fight scene. First off, it was dark, and then it just didn’t flow right. The whole scene was grainy and looked like someone made it with a handheld video camera. That was an EPIC fail for this film.
The acting wasn’t spectacular, but it also wasn’t awful. Hamlin was a decent Perseus. He wasn’t amazing, but I can see him as the legendary character. I don’t know. It seemed like he played him as a model, and I feel like Perseus would’ve been more rugged. Oliver, as Zeus, was also good. He was on the scene a limited time. I felt like he could’ve been way more commanding. He made Zeus seemed gentle but also ruthless sometimes. I don’t really know. I just wasn’t wowed by the acting. I guess the only great person was McCarthy as Calibos and Smith as Thetis. The mother/son duo actually work really well. McCarthy was mean and spiteful after his transformation. Smith played Thetis as the mom who wanted revenge. My question is, how the hell did she get to Mount Olympus because she wasn’t one of the main gods.
Clash of the Titans is a very entertaining movie about the Greek heroes. Is it one of the best ever films made on this subject? NOPE! Is it campy, have some strange special effects that make you laugh along with a nice storyline? YEP! You will be entertained. Go watch this film as a start to learning about the Greek Gods and Greek Mythology.
