0
0
Rating: 1 out of 5
Deep Water is a complete waste of a movie to watch. I have never been so bored and frustrated with a film as this one. I understand it tried to be some new type of erotic thriller with the beautiful Ana de Armas, but even her acting couldn’t carry this pathetic film. Just thinking about this film is pissing me off because I will never understand married people who do this shit.
The film revolves around the marriage or whatever they have of Melinda (Ana de Armas) and Vic Van Allen (Ben Affleck). The pair live in Louisiana with their cute but innocent daughter, Trixie (Grace Jenkins). Vic is straight-up wealthy, as he retired early from developing guidance chips for combat drones. Dude is intelligent, and making chips for combat drones should make you fear the dude. Yet, Vic and Melinda have a straight-up weird relationship. They don’t sleep in the same room, and Melinda takes lovers openly in the face of Vic and their friends. She has no issue with having her lover show up at a party with Vic there and is willing to spread her legs. Vic almost seems like a bitch because he just wants to roll with his snail collection. You read that right; dude has a snail collection. As their open relationship is no secret, Vic does get jealous and pissed, and Melinda claims he has no balls and lacks passion.
Shit gets real and dumb when Melinda invites her latest boo thang and sex buddy, Joel, to a party. Joel is chilling alone with Vic, and Vic looks dude in the eyes and says he killed Melinda’s last lover, who has completely vanished. First, who says this shit out loud? Are you trying to go to jail and get booty raped? This was stupid, but his story spread among the friends, and now you can’t do anything to Joel. But wait! A writer named Don Wilson, I haven’t heard a stripper name like that in a long time, hears this story and becomes intrigued. Straight up stupidity. That night, Joel has dinner with Melinda and Vic. Vic tells Joel that he killed Melinda’s last lover with a hammer. Joel does the freakin smart thing and bounces.
This is the entire story. Melinda finds a new lover to make Vic jealous. Vic says some shit or kills the lover. The couple fights, and besides getting a divorce, they stick together. They have this weird thing going and it was frustrating to watch. Oh, I forgot that Vic goes around killing people who mess with his uninterested woman. It was just aggravating because they tried to hurt each other, and the one they really hurt is Trixie. I will never understand.
This was also one of the weakest erotic thrillers I have seen. Listen, did I need nudity all the time or a sex scene every 5 minutes? Nope. I could watch porn if I wanted that. I saw that the director made Unfaithful, which was a good film that hit the point of cheating. This piece of shit film was all over the place with dude’s wife running around and him getting mad. Did he get off on killing folks? This whole freakin family needs help or therapy or just divorce.
For the acting, I was feeling Ana de Armas. She is one of my favorite actresses, and she is a straight-up FOINE!!! She is so beautiful, and she has no problem with getting naked on screen. She is good in this film as the wife who wants to get her freak on and show off. Do your thang girl. On the other hand, Ben Affleck seemed like a sad Ben Affleck in real life. Why were you unhappy when you were dating Ana while filming this film. Ben, you need a hug.
I’m not going to talk about this film anymore. If you are looking for an erotic thriller, you can skip this film. There are far better erotic thrillers than this film, i.e., Wild Things, Fatal Attraction, Basic Instinct, and even Eyes Wide Shut. Those are only a few. Skip this film and watch something else.
