0
0
Rating: 0.75 out of 5
If you didn’t think you should f**k in the woods before, just wait because there is a sequel. Yes, you read that right. There is a Don’t F**k in the Woods 2, and it picks up where the first one ended. This might be the new franchise version of Sharknado. I highly doubt it, but who would’ve thought a second one would be made after a six-year break. I honestly can’t believe that I sat and watched the sequel. Still, it was entertaining because it was terrible, highly sexual, and over the top with craziness.
Like I wrote before, Don’t F**k in the Woods 2 starts after the first one with the girl from the last movie banged up from her fight with the creature. This time we are introduced to several counselors at Pine Hills Summer Camp. Think Friday the 13th but without Jason. As they get to know each other, they bang and wonder about the handyman who was in prison for chop shopping. As the counselors bang each other, gooey substances enter the girl’s vagina and turn them into creatures that look like zombies from The Walking Dead. When they bite you, you turn into a zombie-like creature that attacks but smells the sexual tension in people. Yup, that is what the movie is about, and it gets crazy.
Once again, my curiosity really took the best of me again. I watched the first one and decided to keep the good times going with the second one. Did the movie get better than the original? Naw, but hey, you should know what you are getting into from looking at the title and seeing the first one. After six years, you would think the camera quality would be decent or even the acting, but nope, still exactly the same exact thing.
Oh, did the story repeat itself but only in a different location? Well, maybe not a different place because they are still in the woods, but this time, they are at least at camp. Like in American Pie, “this one time at band camp.” Things really did go into someone’s vagina and not a good thing. Like I said earlier, it is at a camp with counselors. It has the Friday the 13th vibe, and once again, people are having sex. Hell, one kid masturbates throughout the night. One girl is pissed because the person she is crushing on hooks up with another girl who is actually really pretty. Never mind all that; it was like gooey stuff from a creature going into girls and turning them into mindless creatures. If you didn’t think that was crazy, the ending is out in left or right field. The girl from the last film and the handyman are the only two left, and they go to this cave. People from the previous movie are stuck against the wall, and there is this alien-like egg that affects people with its penis-like tube. Ultimately, the pair blow up the cave but just wait. We are in a treat for maybe a third movie because a baby-like creature is born. The film is all over the place, like this freakin review.
The acting was a little better. Just a tad bit better, but not much. It seemed like the actors and actresses needed a job or put some credits on their movie resumes. I don’t know about you, but Kenzie Phillips was amazingly beautiful, and I could watch her even if she got naked and had a sex scene. I am also going to give a shout-out to Kaylee Williams. You might’ve died early in the film and come back as a zombie creature, but I enjoyed you, and you are amazing and beautiful, also. Second thought, all the actresses are beautiful in this film, and they all tried their best. Rome wasn’t built in a day.
If you want to watch a B movie sequel, go ahead and watch this film. If you already watched the first one, you might as well pour yourself a cocktail, go for a second round, and watch the sequel. Sex happens in the film, and things go crazy. I swear this could be an amateur porn film. Remember, Don’t F**k in the Woods!!
