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Rating: 1 out of 5
“It’s Alive! It’s Alive!” Those are the iconic words that Dr. Frankenstein yelled out when his creation came to life in the 1931 version of Frankenstein. An iconic film that still holds up to this day. Well, I am going to say this as nicely as possible……… I, Frankenstein isn’t a film that is alive at all. It is straight-up dead on arrival with no pulse, heartbeat, or life in it. It is an entirely pathetic piece of work. It seems like every new monster movie, we get a stranger and crazier version of Frankenstein. Well, this version takes the ultimate cake of being the most outlandish and weirdest version of Frankenstein EVER. One with vampires and gargoyles that are fighting a war. After a while, you will tune out this version because it is just so bad.
What is I, Frankenstein about or story-wise? Well, to let you know, it would’ve been far more entertaining to take out your own brain and put it in this film. The film begins in the mean streets of some city, but that is neither here nor there. We get a flashback to 1795. We listen to the whole Frankenstein (Eckhart) monologue. How Dr. Victor Frankenstein creates a soulless monster from the corpses of many people. How Dr. Frankenstein rejects his creation like in the book. In a fit of rage, the monster kills Victor’s wife Elizabeth, and Victor chases it to the Arctic to get revenge but succumbs to the weather. The creature buries his creator in the Frankenstein family cemetery. Somewhat like the book but okay, I can hang. Things go off the deep end from here. It really goes off the deep end from here.
The creature is attacked by demons and is saved by Gargoyles. Yep, gargoyles. The gargoyles take him to a Cathedral where the Gargoyles Order gathers. The Queen of the Gargoyles Leonore (Otto) keeps Dr. Frankenstein’s journal together with the Order’s treasures. She gives the name of Adam to the creature. She explains to Adam that there is an ancient war between the Gargoyles that are angels and demons under the command of Prince Naberius (Nighy). Didn’t I tell you this film went off the deep end? We have demons and gargoyles that are angels fighting each other. W.T.F! Leonore asks Adam to help, but the dude turns them down because he prefers to be alone. Before he departs, he takes baton-like weapons to protect himself. The film then jumps two hundred years later, where society is more modern. Adam learns that Naberius intends to create an army of soulless corpses to be possessed by demons. He has recruited the scientist Terra, who is researching a process to create life. The one item that can make Naberius’ goal become a reality is Dr. Frankenstein’s journal. Adam must decide to join the war or continue to sit on the sidelines.
Okay, I don’t know about you, but W.T.F was going on with this movie? You want to be confused and die a slow and torturous death, then watch this movie. I honestly don’t know what was going on and what was up with this film’s tone and style. It made no sense, and I am going to try my best to tell you why this movie was BLAH without getting a MAJOR headache.
First, the only decent thing, and I do mean decent thing, about this film was the CGI. The gargoyles and demons were pretty cool to look at, along with some of the fighting. The full effect of when demons die, they burst into flames, and when gargoyles die, a bright white light shines, and they look like they are ascending to the heavens. That was cool, and then it went downhill from there.
Now the style is very dark. I don’t mean that we see true evil and people killing babies’ dark. It is dark in the sense that you can’t see a freaking thing. Needed to turn up the brightness on this film just to see anything. When you turned up the brightness, you wanted to immediately turn it back down because the movie is so bad. It tried to have this Underworld vibe to it, but it failed at executing it. Frankenstein monster vs. demons with gargoyles just doesn’t hit the same spot as vampires and werewolves. I guess that what the story was trying to go for also. A spin-off of that universe, but it didn’t work.
The story of gargoyles and demons fighting is one thing because it makes so much sense. Yep, demons and gargoyles fighting. Might as well watch the animated tv show Gargoyles because that was far more entertaining. Sorry, I got off track. The story just seemed old and played out. Some evil person wants to find a way to reanimate corpses, and the only way to do it is to find Frankenstein’s journal. I have heard and seen that story before, and it is nothing new. Frankenstein’s monster goes by Adam because I guess he is the first human, doesn’t want to fight but then decides to for some reason. How about we try to not recycle an old idea and come up with something new.
As for the cast. Oh, how this cast was just, huh? Eckhart tried his best to add something to this role, but it was pretty bad to watch. This was not a role he should’ve taken after the Dark Knight’s success. He should’ve looked at the script and said, “Naw, I’m good.” Nighy, as Naberius, was like all his other roles. Sometimes I don’t know if he is doing his Underworld role or Davy Jones from Pirates of the Caribbean. I like Nighy as an actor. Maybe this role just failed him because it seemed like the same exact thing. Otto, as Queen Leonore, was okay. I mean, she was in the film and if you need a tough guy, call on Jai Courtney. He is another person that seems to play the same role.
If you are going to watch a Frankenstein type movie, then just skip this one. This movie is not alive; it was dead on arrival. The story was awful, and the acting was blah. For Halloween, you can watch another film besides this dreadful thing.
