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Rating: 1.5 out of 5
Growing up, I watched the animated TV series Justice League and a little bit of Justice League Unlimited. The fantastic Cartoon Network produced the first Justice League between 2001 and 2004. It was a sequel to the legendary and ICONIC Batman: The Animated Series and a little less Superman: The Animated Series. If you’ve seen Batman: The Animated Series, you know that shit was good. Justice League had that dark feel but introduced many heroes and villains from DC comics. Hell, it had some great episodes with several Justice League members being turned into children and the infamous Batman singing “Am I Blue.”
We all know the monster of the Marvel Cinematic Universe with the Avengers films. It was expected that DC Comics would try to catch up. Even their first few movies failed miserably when it was announced that a Justice League film would be made; my hopes were a little high because I watched the animated TV series again as an adult. Yet, you started hearing about the MAJOR problems with production from Zack Snyder directing, making his own version, and then not directing. You have extensive rewrites and reshoots. Joss Whedon seemed to make his own movie. It all resulted in a trash film that cost around $300 million, ranking it in the realm of one of the most expensive films ever made. Here’s to you, DC Extended Universe, for ruining my beloved childhood with this trash of a film.
Where shall I begin? Let’s start off with the story. I don’t even know where to begin. It starts with Batman (Affleck) using a thief as bait to capture some alien creature. Elsewhere, Wonder Woman (Gadot) stopped a group of robbers in a very nice display of power and grace. Batman and Wonder Woman decided it was time to form a team after the threat of Steppenwolf (Hinds) and his legions of Parademons. Steppenwolf was a lieutenant for Dark Side and was sent to Earth to take it over by using the combined energies of the three Mother Boxes. When the Olympian Gods, Amazons, Atlanteans, humanity, and extraterrestrial beings form an alliance, they stop Steppenwolf more than 5000 years ago. The three Mother Boxes are separated and hidden. With the death of Superman (Cavill), the Mother Boxes are reactivated, and the world is in fear. Steppenwolf returns to find and unite all the Mother Boxes to terraform the Earth and try again to get in the good graces of Dark Side. Batman and Diana go out for recruitment. Batman does all the recruitment. First, Bruce Wayne travels to Iceland to find Arthur Curry, AKA Aquaman (Momoa). Curry sticks out like a sore thumb among all the residents, and Bruce asks about the Aquaman. Really Bruce? World’s greatest detective you are. He then sees Barry Allen/The Flash (Miller), who jumps at the chance to join the team. Diana tries to recruit Victor Stone/Cyborg (Fisher), who is reluctant to join.
You would think that the film would start to get good, but these strong superheroes get their ass handed to them by Steppenwolf. It wasn’t even a contest as he wipes the entire floor with everyone. Bruce comes up with the idea of bringing Superman back to life with the Kryptonian scout ship and the Mother Box. Everyone seems against it until they agree and bring Superman back to life, but he has zero memories and thinks everyone is an enemy. Once again, the Justice League gets their ass handed to them. Superman whips that ass so much that you feel like no one can save the Earth until Lois arrives and gives him back his memories. Okay, the group travels to a small town in Russia without Superman to stop Steppenwolf. Once again, the group gets their ass handed to them until Superman arrives and whips everyone’s ass, and helps save the world.
That was the entire movie; it felt all over the place. First, the main villain, Steppenwolf, is a complete and total bore. Out of all the villains in the DC Comics universe, you chose that one. Compared to Thanos, you seemed like a whiny child with mommy issues. Unlike Thanos, he didn’t seem like a prominent villain. His scenes are mainly those of gathering the boxes, but the major threat was the team coming together. The film should’ve had a supermajor villain like Dark Side. Marvel used lesser villains for a build-up to Thanos. When Thanos came on the screen, you knew he was the shit. You knew he was the real deal when he beat down the Hulk, but you also sympathized with why he was doing everything. Steppenwolf didn’t carry any of that, which was one of the significant reasons this film failed.
The film also felt like the members of the Justice League had zero chemistry with each other in terms of banter and dialogue. I’m sorry to compare this film with The Avengers, but that film was the standard. This film felt like it was thrown together after the Avengers came out. Marvel spent years forming a baseline for each character. We got to know them and saw background stories that made us relate and figure out who our favorite character was. Justice League skipped over many of the background stories. Batman had more films than anyone, and we didn’t need a story. Same with Superman because of all his movies. With Wonder Woman, Aquaman, the Flash, and Cyborg, there were zero films that helped their case until after. The film spent a third of the time forming the team, a third of the film figuring out what to do with Superman, and the last third finally fighting and defeating Steppenwolf. It all felt like a waste of time.
With that said, what was up with the team getting their ass handed to them time after time. It felt like they weren’t even in the same league, but it wasn’t even close when they fought against a memory-loss Superman. Superman swatted Aquaman away like he was a fly. Flash was scared out of his mind when Superman could keep up with his speed. Cyborg literally shit a brick when he tried to block Superman’s heat vision. It was crazy to watch. It showed how far and above Superman is compared to everyone else. When he fought against Steppenwolf, Superman made him look like a child. This film could’ve been another Superman film towards the end because he was the main focus.
What the fuck was up with the CGI and special effects. Holy shit, were they god awful. The effects and CGI alone took away from the movie. I don’t know what the hell was going on but damn. Everyone looked out of place, and it didn’t look natural. The film seemed to hire a third-rate CGI or special effects company and was like this will do. The atmosphere was so dark and reddish that it made you want to turn away your eyes. What are you doing, DC? Get it together.
I talked about the bad enough. The only good part of this film was the acting. I felt like the stars were committed to their characters and the story, and everything else failed them. Even though they are a little shit in the real world, Ezra Miller as Barry Allen/The Flash was hilarious. I enjoyed them on the screen. Gal Gadot as Diana Prince/Wonder Woman was equally great with her guidance and elegance. She was the main connector of the team and should be the leader. Jason Momoa as Arthur Curry/Aquaman was great. I felt like he had that rocker attitude but wanted to have fun. He got yeeted into eternity when he tried to leap at Superman. He also had a funny scene while sitting on the Lasso of Truth.
Hell, even the ending of the film was pretty good. For one, it was the film’s end, but also, it had some of the best banter between the stars. The scene where Bruce and Clark talk after getting Clark’s family home back was a nice touch. Bruce stated he bought the bank to get it back. That is a rich man’s flex right there. The mid-credits were also fun to watch, with Superman and The Flash betting on who was faster. The effects were shit, but the banter was funny.
I heard the Synder cut was way better than this film, but for now, let’s skip this film and watch the animated cartoon series. The story is trash, the main villain is awful, and let’s not even think about the CGI/special effects. Spend your time watching the animated series. You will feel a lot better, and your mind won’t turn to mush.
BONUS CLIP!!!
