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Rating: 1 out of 5
Masters of the Universe is one of those films that is so bad that it’s good. If you need some mindless entertainment, this film has it in many ways. I don’t know if the people making this film looked at the old cartoons because they seemed to skip over much of the lore. Masters of the Universe is a film that tries to be entertaining but fails in many areas. Time has been really good for this film with the Netflix animated series. The world doesn’t need another He-Man movie. We are good with this one.
On the planet Eternia, many light-years away from Earth, a war has been going on. The evil lord, Skeletor (Langella), and his dark army have rolled up in Castle Grayskull. They have overthrown the Sorceress (Pickles), expecting to gain her power. Fighting against Skeletor is his arch-enemy, He-Man (Lundgren). He-Man rolls with his old friend Man-at-Arms (Cypher) and his daughter Teela (Field). After a short battle where He-Man and his crew defeat Skeletor’s soldiers, they recuse their prisoner, the inventor and locksmith Gwildor (Barty). Gwildor explains that he was lured by Evil-Lyn (Foster) to use his invention, the Cosmic Key, to open the gates and seize Castle Grayskull. He-Man and his crew manage to retrieve the prototype of the Cosmic Key, trying to release the Sorceress. Still, they are defeated by Skeletor and his army. Backed into a corner, Gwildor uses his key to open and portal for them to flee. He-Man and his crew end up on Earth but lose the key. On Earth, Julie Winston (Cox) is grieving the loss of her parents, who recently died in a plane crash. Her boyfriend, Kevin Corrigan (McNeill), finds the key and, thinking it is a new musical instrument, activates it. On Eternia, Evil-Lyn discovers the location of the Cosmic Key. Skeletor sends her and his elite group of mercenaries to defeat He-Man once and for all. He-Man and his crew must find a way to get back home and rid the universe of Skeletor’s evil.
Once again, Masters of the Universe is one of those films that is so bad that it’s good. It is all over the place with the story, acting, special effects, and everything imaginable that goes into making a film. It is also one of those films that you will be entertained with. As I watched this film, all I could think of was how bad the movie was but also how entertained I was. It’s terrible, but you can’t take your eyes away from watching the debacle.
First, I want to say that the costumes were spot on. Let’s give some respect to how the film made all the characters from the cartoon and toy line look in this film. Foster made Evil-Lyn look terrifying with her pale blue eyes and that costume. Beast Man, Blade, Krang, and others looked at their parts. Even Lundgren looked like a believable He-Man. Langella looked creepy as Skeletor, and that costume really pulled it off. The costume design in this film must be respected in this film.
The story was all over the place. Battling on Eternia was okay, but when He-Man and his crew came to Earth, that is when it went way off the deep end. First, it should’ve never come to Earth because it seemed out of place. I understand taking the key to another world but Earth. He-Man and his crew made jokes that didn’t hit or go off well. When Man-at-Arms, Teela, and Gwildor are eating food, they were disgusted at having fried chicken and barbeque ribs. Don’t diss the ribs and fried chicken.
Hey, we still have to have an epic battle on Earth that looks so off. Really, Skeletor has all these men, and they get their asses handed to them in a music store. Blow that shit up. The scene where He-Man flies through the air on a hoverboard looks really off. You think it couldn’t get any worse, but it does. When He-Man is captured and watches Skeletor’s transformation, it was okay, but the fighting was awful. Once again, all those freakin men, and you couldn’t stop anyone.
What was up with the final fight between He-Man and Skeletor? Talk about clunky and stiff movements. You might as well call in other actors that could do some special moves. It just looked strange with that mixture of light and darkness. It was all over the place, but once again, you couldn’t look away.
Dolph Lundgren as He-Man was meh. He looked the part, but the acting was so bad. I read that this was his first starring role after being in Rocky 4. He should’ve stayed in some acting classes. Arnold wasn’t available or someone else.
I am going to give it to Frank Langella. He was excellent as Skeletor. I really enjoyed his performance. He was the right type of evil, power-hungry, and a badass. Let’s talk about that final speech. That was a masterful display of telling everyone Skeletor’s motivation and the best part of the whole film. I could watch that speech over and over again.
Masters of the Universe is a bad film that has gained a cult classic. It will forever live in history as being an awful film. The story is terrible, the acting is blah, and the special effects will make you laugh. The only great parts of this film are the costume designs and Frank Langella as Skeletor. If you have time, go watch the Netflix series. It is far better.
