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Stephen King is one of the greatest writers ever. He is known for his horror novels and has been crowned the “King of Horror.” I had to look it up but King has written over 200 short stories. That gave me the idea to see which of his books have been made into movies. Then I got the idea of, not all of them are good movies. Which movies absolutely sucked ass. Boy did I find some of them that were terrible. Let’s strap in and go through some of the worst films that are based on King’s novels.
Dreamcatcher (2003)
Stephen King has written a ton of books. He has a catalogue of books that have been made into films. Some have been great like Carrie, The Shinning, and Misery, while some have been major misses. One of those misses was Dreamcatcher. A film about four friends who go on an annual hunting trip only for them to be in the middle of an alien invasion and the government trying to stop it. This movie was incoherent and really boring. The alien in the head scene was nice but after that, it was blah. I have a dreamcatcher and hope the dreams it catches are far more entertaining.
Graveyard Shift (1990)
If you want to watch a film with rats and is pretty bad, then look no further than Stephen King’s Graveyard Shift. What better way to have a movie set in a dark and disgusting textile factory next to a cemetery. Oh, but it gets better. The factory is infested with rats and workers seem to go missing. The film is so bad and makes you never want to work in a textile factory or a graveyard shift. The acting is pretty bad and the story is laughable. All Stephen King material doesn’t need to be made into a film.
Firestarter (2022)
When you make a remake for a film, at least try to make it better than the original. Don’t make it worse. Firestarter is one of those films that manages to fail miserably and not light any flame. The Stephen King novel once again managed to fizzle out before ever getting started. A film about a little girl who can start fires is pursued by a government agency. The film was pointless to watch as no one seemed to know what they were doing or making. Cold water was definitely thrown on this film.
Children of the Corn (2020)
I didn’t think the world needed another Children of the Corn movie but here we are again. This film is the third adaptation of this novel. Who the hell makes a film three freakin times? It’s also the eleventh film of the entire Children of the Corn series. DANM! That is Land Before Time or the Saw series level. This film is laughable and doesn’t have an ounce of frights or scares. It’s to the point that the series is serving up stale ass corn. These fields have run dry, and it is time to never harvest from this series again. No one cares about the children or the corn they live in or on.
The Dark Tower (2017)
This one is going to hurt. I have never read the Gunslinger/Dark Tower series. I tried starting it years after this film came out. I went to the movies to watch this film and even if you don’t know anything about the series you will sit around, scratch your head and say to yourself, “WTF is going on?” It is a shame because it stars Idris Elba as Roland Deschain and Matthew McConaughey as Walter Padick (The Man in Black). The film was all over the place and it just didn’t feel right. I’m going to read the series because I heard it is fifty times better. What a freakin shame.
