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Oh, wonderful horror movies. These are the films that keep on giving with bad movies. For everyone decent horror movie, there are probably ten that suck major ass. If you have an amazing horror movie, which is quite rare now, then there are probably twenty that are just crap. Here we go again with some films that don’t spook, scare or make you jump.
Victor Frankenstein (2015)
This film shouldn’t have been called Victor Frankenstein. It should’ve been called “Igor: The Life and Story.” The movie is more about the life of Frankenstein’s hunchback assistant Igor than himself. The movie is absolutely terrible as it goes in many directions and tries to have a different perspective on things. Can you think of a decent Frankenstein movie ever since the original came out? It is getting harder and harder to find a reason to watch a Frankenstein movie.
The Covenant (2006)
There are some films that shouldn’t be made and the Covenant is one of those films. A wanna be male version of The Craft, it revolves around four high school boys known as the Sons of Ipswich who are the descendants of colonial witch families and have magical powers. The acting, story and everything about this film is bad. Just really bad and even Harry Potter couldn’t save this film. Hell, Lord Voldemort would cry if he had to watch this film.
Urban Legend: The Final Cut (2000)
The sequel to the Urban Legend franchise, this time we hit a new low. The film follows a film student being stalked by a serial killer in a fencing mask. My lawd have we fallen. The killer begins murdering the crew members of her thesis film about urban legends. You would think with a cast of Jennifer Morrison, Joseph Lawrence, Anthony Anderson, Eva Mendes and a few others, this would be a halfway decent film.
The Lazareth Effect (2015)
Lazarus of Bethany was a person in which Jesus restores to life four days after his death. I’m sorry but this film should’ve stayed dead and buried. In the film, a group of medical students have developed a serum, code-named “Lazarus.” It’s supposed to help coma patients but it actually brings people back from the dead. When they come back, they have insane powers but also see what hell is like. With a cast of Olivia Wilde, Donald Glover, Evan Peters, and Sarah Bolger you would think it would be able to sustain life but nope, everyone was wrong about that.
The Unborn (2009)
I remember watching this film and straight up laughing and also maybe swearing off children. Who needs a crazy demon baby in their life? The film follows a young woman who is tormented by a dybbuk aka an evil spirit. This spirit wants in the world and will do anything to make it happen, even causing the death of the girl. This film has freakin Gary Oldman and Idris Elba. Y’all didn’t have anything better to do?
