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Who is ready for some beans and a second helping of awful western movies. I thought this would be a one-time thing but here we go again with a second round. Couldn’t get enough of the awful western film. I think I found some that were so bad that the Wild West threw them back to where ever they came.
Final Justice (1985)
Wow, just wow. It is not that often that I am at a loss for words. Final Justice is that film that made me do an uncomfortable chuckle from how bad it is. I should’ve expected it but damn. What do you get when you have a low-budget western, crime, gangster film that is written, directed and produced by one person? You get Final Justice and if you did all of that, you should’ve starred in it. Movie where a sheriff is sent to Malta to extradite a mobster. What could go wrong? I don’t know what happened in this film but it is wrong and bad on so many levels.
Bad Girls (1994)
You very rarely see a film with four women in the lead in a western film. There were high hopes for this film because it was new, and it starred Madeleine Stowe, Mary Stuart Masterson, Andie MacDowell, and Drew Barrymore. A film about four prostitutes who decided to leave after one of their own is abused and they kill the abuser. They turn to robbing a bank to start a new life. The film story was a good idea but it was terribly made. The actresses are not at fault with this film. It is everything else associated with this film and ultimately you wanted to bury your head in the sand. The movie is campy, all over the place and skippable.
Wagons East (1994)
John Candy is one of the best comedian actors to have lived. It pains me because if you have seen any of his movies, you can tell he was a good person. His last film that was released five or so months after his death was not good. It was downright bad. A story of an alcoholic wagon person leading a group through the wild west back to the east coast. It made no sense and it wasn’t funny at all. This might be the worst western film ever made and has a freakin 0% on Rotten Tomatoes.
Texas Rangers (2001)
Holy shit! I didn’t think I could find a terrible western film but low and behold I found one that was scrapping the absolute bottom of the barrel. I present to you, Texas Rangers. I’m not talking about the baseball team. I don’t know what the hell was going on in this film but everyone needs to be let go or look at themselves really hard and question their decisions. How does a film with this cast: James Van Der Beek, Ashton Kutcher, Alfred Molina, Dylan McDermott and Usher fail so bad. Why even try to make this film. It needs to be burned or eradicated from existence.
Gallowwalkers (2012)
Wesley, Wesley, Wesly. Lord help all with this film. Really, Wesley? Gallowwalkers is straight up trash. First, it’s set in western times and is a supernatural horror that makes sense. Snipes plays Aman, a cursed gunman who fights against zombies. Yup, zombies. Aman rides around killing them. Let’s say that this is a far, far, far fall from the Blade days. What the fuck was going on with the CGI? It’s so bad that you might not have even tried. The action is confusing and that is saying a lot for me and the dialogue is straight up booty juice. Gallowwalkers need to walk into the desert and never see the light of day again by burning under the intense sun.
