0
0
Rating: 1.5 out of 5
Recently, I played Resident Evil: Village. The game was okay because it continued the story, but I wanted more horror, and I somewhat didn’t like how it finished or the big reveal. To me, the only great parts of the game were Lady Dimitrescu 9 feet tall self and Heisenberg being a badass character, and I wanted to see more of him. Yet, Resident Evil games are a hit and miss sometimes. After playing the game, this got me thinking about the live-action movie starring Milla Jovovich. It’s been a good while since I’ve seen the original film. I couldn’t believe there were seven movies to this franchise. Yes, you read that right, SEVEN FREAKIN MOVIES.
This movie was meh at best and is a video game movie. I see now that it’s hard to make a decent movie out of a video game. How does the original movie roll? Well, in the future, the Umbrella Corporation has a hidden research facility called The Hive underneath Raccoon City. There the scientist develop genetically engineered drugs for medical purposes and biological weapons. One of their drugs is the powerful T-virus. That shit is no joke. Well, like most movies, a thief tries to steal the T-virus and contaminates The Hive. Before anyone can escape, the AI called the Red Queen seals the Hive and kills everyone in the facility. What better way than to control the outbreak. The movie proceeds with a woman named Alice (Jovovich) waking up in her bathroom with no memory of what happened. As she wanders around the mansion she is in, a commando group led by One (Salmon) bursts through the windows like the Kool-Aid man and subdue Alice and another man called Matt (Mabius), who claims to be a cop. Alice learns that she is a security guard and that her partner, Spence (Purefoy), was assigned to protect the entrance of the Hive and that her memory will return after a certain amount of time from the gas that was pumped into the facility. The group’s mission is to shut down and restore the Red Queen as it had malfunctioned and shut down the entire facility. As the group takes an underground train to reach the Hive. As they enter the facility, the Red Queen warns them to leave her place. As they make it to the Red Queen systems, Kaplan (Crewes) manages to disable the Red Queen, just before the freaky red girl states that they will all die. The group soon learns that the Red Queen was the least of their worries when the power is restored. Zombies now roam the halls of the Hive, and to make matters worse, most of the commando unit had died when disabling the Red Queen. Now it’s up to Alice and a few others to make it out of the Hive. Will any of them survive? The answer is yes because there were six other movies after this.
I would crush this film, but obviously, many people liked this film. For one, the storyline was okay. It had all this T-virus getting out. Honestly, I might skip around with my thoughts, but it seems like any zombie movie always revolves around a virus that messes up the world and everyone shit. Honestly, I don’t know what experiments and how fast this virus deteriorates people, but you see how messed up them dogs looked? Also, if the Red Queen has all this power, you telling me it would just send a blaze of fire through it or have a weapons system that shoots everything in the head? You’re a high-tech facility. People didn’t think about this. Also, how many people work in the Hive because there seemed to be a ton of zombies, and I don’t even know how they wandered in some places like roaches.
Also, what type of dialogue was going on in this film? I felt like Michelle Rodriguez said the same thing over and over again with a scowl on her face. Was I expecting awesome, Academy Award-winning dialogue? No, but damn, at least give me a little something, and then I think to myself, playing the games have way better dialogue than most of their film counterparts. I don’t see how you mess up a movie when the video game provides you with great material.
Whatever, the action of this film was funny to watch, but I take it. When the zombies started attacking, Alice spun her ass around and fired them bullets. She would kick that leg up and whip ass when she needed to. Some of the action was slow motion, and other scenes were intense and clunky. I don’t know what game the film used as inspiration, but this is the first one of many to come.
Now, as far as the acting goes or lack thereof. Milla Jovovich as Alice to me was a perfect fit. She has the look and vibe for a video game, and I really like her as Alice and the movies to come. I think a strong female presence is amazing in films, and homegirl knows how to kick ass. Have you seen her in the film the Fifth Element? Don’t sleep on Milla cause he will whip that ass and take zero names.
Also, Michelle Rodriguez. I love you, homegirl, but you play the same role over and over and over again. The mad, pissed-off, strong as hell woman who seems to NEVER smile and want to whip any type of ass that comes your way. Don’t get me wrong, when you need to get paid, get that bag.
Listen, Resident Evil is one of those video game movies that can have twenty installments, and you get zero story to it. It’s an okay first movie and will go down to me as a meh video game movie. Sometimes, you just gotta say fuck it and make some awful stuff or make it look like a video game. Case in point, House of the Dead. Another terrible zombie movie.
