0
0
Rating: 3 out of 5
Sucker Punch is a total bro movie. It is entirely a bro movie that was made for the male imagination. It’s like a group of bros sat around and asked what they would like in a movie. To let their imagination ride. If you need another example, the South Park episode, The Tale of Scrotie McBoogerballs. The boys write the vilest, crazy, and offensive book because they didn’t like the book that they read. That is what Sucker Punch is all about. Are you looking for beautiful girls dressed in sexual clothing? Check. Are you looking for elements of robots, dragons, ninjas, and orcs? Double-check. Looking for some crazy action and fighting? Triple check!
The first time I ever saw Sucker Punch was in the movie theater during the opening weekend. I went with my mom because I was staying at home for a while. I remember watching the trailer and really interested in seeing the movie. I just remember seeing all the action and fighting. Well, I must say that Sucker Punch was a head-scratcher. Recently, I watched Sucker Punch all over again because I needed something to watch. Once again, it did not disappoint.
Sucker Punch begins with one of the main characters talking about something. It’s really not important. Babydoll (Browning) life changes for her and her sister with the death of her sister. Her stepfather believing he will gain the mother’s fortune finds out that everything is left to the daughters. During one night of drinking, the stepfather gets the bright idea of doing something sexual and awful to the youngest daughter while locking Babydoll in a room. Babydoll escapes through a window and finds a gun. She points the gun at her stepfather and pulls the trigger. The bullet ricochets off a pipe and strikes her sister, killing her instantly. This leads to the stepfather institutionalizing Babydoll at the fictional Lennox House for the Mentally Insane in Brattleboro, Vermont. The stepfather bribes asylum orderly Blue Jones (Oscar Isaac) to forge the signature of the asylum’s psychiatrist, Vera Gorski (Gugino), to have Babydoll lobotomized so she cannot inform authorities of the actual circumstances of her sister’s death.
During Babydoll’s walkthrough of the institute, she takes note of four items. As she looks at one of the girls in the asylum, she then slips into a fantasy world where she is a newly arrived recruit in a brothel that is owned by Blue. Babydoll sees Blue as a wannabe mobster, and the other patients are sex slaves. YEP! Starting to get crazy. Actually, we jumped on the crazy train, and it is about to go full speed down the track because we are just beginning. In the brothel/asylum, Babydoll is introduced to four other patients/dancers – Amber (Chung), Blondie (Hudgens), Rocket (Malone), and Rocket’s sister Sweet Pea (Cornish). Dr. Gorski is envisioned as the girls’ dance instructor.
Blue tells Babydoll that her virginity will be sold to a client named the High Roller (very original name). As Babydoll gets used to her new environment, Gorski encourages her to perform an erotic dance. During the dance, Babydoll further fantasizes she is in feudal Japan, meeting the Wise Man (Glenn). The Wise Man asks her what she wants to her replying to escape. The Wise Man then presents Babydoll with a firearm and one of the finest katanas ever made. Yep! Nothing says a good action movie like a gun and a katana. The Wise Man then states to escape, she will need to collect five items: a map, fire, a knife, a key, and a fifth unrevealed item that would require a deep sacrifice. That is some Bruce Lee wisdom right there. So begins the quest of Babydoll.
Before we talk about all the quests, there needs to be one thing that everyone realizes. The way she steals items with her crew is by dancing. Yep, dancing. This dancing sends Babydoll and everyone into a dream-like world. This girl dances so amazing that she brings tears to people’s eyes. Yep! Freakin tears to people’s eyes. I mean, people were straight crying and left in some type of wild amazement. This girl must’ve had moves like Jagger and danced way better than Beyoncé. I have seen Beyonce, Michael Jackson, MC Hammer, and others dance, and none of them never made me cry like this girl did. We NEVER see her dance, which is a downside because if her dancing skills are truly amazing, we should see them.
The quest in Sucker Punch is INSANE!! It is some of the wildest s**t! Like in the paragraph before, when Babydoll first gets her mission, she is in Feudal Japan. Her outfit would make Sailor Moon and the Sailor Scouts smile because it is wearing the short top, skirt, and heels. Now she fights three big ass stone samurai warriors. One kicks her ass through a building with the floor exploding. The girl seemed indestructible. Suddenly, homegirl becomes a freakin world-class ninja type warrior with her katana and flipping around. Her power level is over 9000!!!! One samurai statue has a freakin rocket launcher and minigun. I didn’t think those existed in Feudal Japan. Once again, true bro movie. Babydoll takes out one dude, and the whole building falls behind her. What does Babydoll do before she fights the last samurai statie dude?? Brush the muthasuckin’ dirt off her shoulder. Last samurai statue dude is literally afraid after watching his homeboys get their ass handed to them. She crouches down, and the snow starts spinning around her. Power level is definitely over 9000!!! That is the very first mission. See how crazy that is.
Guess what? We’re not even done. Where does the next scene take us? To World War 2 and now we are fighting zombie Nazis to obtain a map. Shit just got really crazy! Did I mention, they have this giant as mecha to fight with colored like a pink bunny. Babydoll bats bullets away like a freakin Jedi Knight with a lightsaber.
Oh, but wait, there’s more! Where do we end up next??? Where does this bro movie take us next? A freakin castle in a medieval-type world with medieval knights fighting orcs or goblins or whatever they are. This is where they must find the fire. Where do we find the fire??? Yep, you guessed it! Inside a freakin DRAGON! You can’t make this s**t up.
OH, BUT WAIT THERE IS MORE!!!! The last mission we obviously are missing one crucial aspect of fantasy. You know what that is? Yep, this movie went straight to having some robots! Can’t have a fantasy movie without robots. This is like a cherry on top of a fantasy movie.
I highly doubt this movie was supposed to show female empowerment, but I could definitely be wrong. I will say that the women in this movie look like they know how to throw a punch. Case in point, the robot fighting scene. I don’t know about the outfits, but I’m not going to say anything.
For the acting, well, let’s say it’s not world-class. You really can’t have world-class performing when you fighting every known thing in the fantasy genre. The only thing missing were wizards, werewolves, elves, and god know what.
Is Sucker Punch a great movie? Meh! It is one of those movies that will make you say, huh? BUT it does have some great action and fighting scenes. This is a true over the top male film. One where you can sit on the couch and think of the craziest s**t in the world and put it in a movie. Maybe that is what I will do now and hope it becomes a movie.
