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Rating: 1 out of 5
Sometimes, sequels do not need to be made. A sequel rarely outperforms the original. When a film was a sleeper hit that couldn’t decide if it was a horror or science fiction film, then we have problems. Don’t get me wrong, I rewatched Pitch Black and thought it was decent. The CGI and special effects did not age well and were freakin laughable. Yet, that film introduced the world to Riddick. He was a badass killing machine man with surgically enhanced eyes that let him see in the dark. I would’ve been fine after the first film, but the world seemed like it needed more Riddick.
The problem is that the Chronicles of Riddick took this film series into a world that I really didn’t want to see or care about. We went from fighting monsters on a planet to straight up going against a dude who seemed to have come back from the afterlife with shadowy abilities, which was freakin strange. The film series should’ve died out right here and there, but we still got a third film, which was a little bit better. Let’s focus on the second film and wish we were Judi Dench’s character and could float away.
Five years have passed since the first film. Riddick (Diesel) has escaped to a distant, frozen tundra planet, looking straight up like a homeless man who has never seen water or a razor. Riddick is being hunted by bounty hunters as the price on his head has increased. After gaining some information, Riddick discovers that the religious man, Abu “Imam” al-Walid (David), placed the bounty after saving his life. Riddick also learns that the other person he saved, Jack (Griffith), was imprisoned on one of the worst prison planets in the galaxy. Why is there a bounty on Riddick’s head? Well, wind person Aereon (Dame Dench) is seeking out people from a race called Furians. They are like Spartans who love to fight. She needs one of them to combat against the “The Necromongers.” A strange cult-like empire that has the rule, “You take what you kill.” They are led by the undead Lord Marshal (Feore), who is invading and blowing planets up. Homeboy wants to claim the galaxy for his own and go to some far-off world. The film shows how Riddick goes from a mercenary to doing what he does best and fighting against the undead.
I don’t know where to begin with this film. The story took a freakin turn to the opposite end of the galaxy, universe, or whatever. Fine, Pitch Black set up a world or environment of different worlds. The Chronicles of Riddick seemed to take that entire concept and was like fuck it, we going to the extreme with this franchise. Suddenly, we have this cult-like empire that destroys planets like it was the Death Star, with an undead leader who can move around with afterimages. Homeboy and his undead would make Dracula proud.
Honestly, now that I think about it, this film’s storyline is exactly like DragonBall Z and the Frieza saga. Think about it: Frieza destroyed the Sayian race because one would go to Super Sayian and destroy his mighty empire. Precisely like the Lord Marshall, who destroys planets along with the race that was prophesied to destroy him and his empire. Let’s go a little deeper. Riddick is the last of a race that loves to fight and do battle, and they were called Furians. The Sayians were a race built for combat and were prophesied to bring down Frieza. They stole the DBZ Frieza saga. In the words of my best friend, “These Bitches!” Great job coming up with an original storyline, Hollywood. This is why I love anime.
Sorry, went off on a tangent. The story or plot deals with Riddick being recruited to save one planet and take down the Lord Marshall, even though he really doesn’t give a shit about the planet or people. When Vaako learns about Riddick being a Furian, he and his trifling wife decide to set in motion a plan for Riddick to beat the Lord Marshall up so they can sneak in and kill him. As the Necromonger’s motto goes, “You keep what you kill.” Does this work out? No, not really, and the ending is pretty predictable. Also, before I forget, Riddick goes to the worst prison in the universe and finds Jack, a girl in the first film but about 15. Homegirl grew up to be a beauty. There is this whole scene where Riddick kills two people with a key and a teacup. It was all over the place and didn’t make any sense. Oh, and the prison break scene was okay. Don’t get me wrong, Riddick and several other prisoners escape but must run on top before the sun bake their ass to a crisp is fun to watch. It is over the top at the end, with Riddick standing and smoke coming off him. Sorry for all the jumping around, but I want you to feel what it was like to watch this film.
The acting was meh, to say the least. Diesel is entertaining as Riddick, but he couldn’t carry this stolen, fake ass story. Diesel was cool and owned the role of this character. He has some of the best comebacks and is a beast, but the story, once again, is terrible. He is the only one that seems relevant to talk about
Oh, the CGI/special effects, how have you made me sick to watch. I thought the first film didn’t age well, but this one took it to a new level. The locations that were designed were awful. Had an ice planet, and then the prison planet was laughable. The Lord Marshall’s movements are pretty cool to watch and are the best highlight of all the special effects in this film.
The Chronicles of Riddick is one of these films that is a terrible sequel, to say the least. The special effects are blah, and the acting is not that great. The story is such a rip-off that you might as well watch something else. Please don’t waste your time. Oh, and I forgot, there is a third film also. Might was get ready for more darkness and dread.
