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If you want to check out a movie that is “supposed” to be scary but is more huh than anything else, then look no further than The Darkness. Some movies shouldn’t see the light of day, and this is one of them. It should’ve stayed entirely in the dark. This film could’ve been twenty times better, but it was a complete waste of time, effort, and major brain cells that I probably won’t ever get back.
Directed by Greg McLean and co-written by McLean, Shayne Armstrong, and Shane Krause. The film is about a family who visits the Grand Canyon. Like most horror movies, one of them f**ks s**t up and brings home a supernatural force that starts to terrorize the family. Peter and Bronny Taylor (Bacon and Mitchell) are on a pleasant vacation to the Grand Canyon with their daughter, Stephanie (Fry), and Mikey (Mazouz), their autistic son. The family is joined by some friends as they hang out and take in the sights. Mikey, Stephanie, and some kid named Andrew go on a journey through the Grand Canyon. Andrew tells Mikey a story about how the Grand Canyon was haunted, and legend told of guardians of the spirit world. Andrew and Stephanie go further with Andrew leaving Mikey his watch for safekeeping and courage from being scared of hearing the story. While Mikey is chilling, like most children in horror movies, homeboy drops the watch and somehow falls inside a cave. He is unharmed but finds several black rocks with symbols in the middle and pockets them into his backpack without anyone noticing. As the family returns home, things go bump in the night, and things become crazier that terrorize the family.
Once again, if you think this film is a horror movie, you will be very disappointed. This is what I can’t get about some horror movies. If the place looks sacred and there are five little rocks on a table or whatever, with carvings in them, LEAVE THAT SHIT ALONE!! You don’t need to go touching stuff, and who told you to take things that’s not even yours. You know what that is called?? Stealing.
As far as the “frights,” they are straight laughable. These are the frights in the whole: black handprints all over the walls and on someone’s bed. People yell at each other, and then there are black handprints on the walls. The mom thinks something is wrong; let’s put black handprints on the kitchen wall. You seeing things, oh wait, more black handprints on the walls. Most of the time, it is Mikey staring endlessly at a wall while laughing or Peter and Bronny trying to figure out why things are happening, like a snake on the counter or the neighbor’s dog going wild on the daughter’s arm. Oh, and I can’t forget the family drama with Stephanie puking in tubs. I really don’t think that needed to be in the film because it added NOTHING to the overall film.
Let’s talk about the ending. What the hell did I just watch. It was like watching Poltergeist all over again. Family brings in a woman who can get rid of evil spirits. After an intense battle, with the demons just wrecking the house, it all comes to a head when the sprints want to take Mickey away with them into the spirit world, but Peter is like, no, that is my son, and you can’t before returning the rocks. Wouldn’t have had this problem if you left them damn rocks alone.
The acting was blah. The typical omg what is going on and why is everything happening type of acting. No one was overly appealing. Kevin Bacon was Kevin Bacon and didn’t provide much. Radha Mitchell as Bronny Taylor seems to play the same role all over again. She tried to hit Silent Hill level, but this film wasted her talent. David Mazouz as Michael Taylor was okay. The dude should stay playing the young Bruce Wayne. Finally, Lucy Fry as Stephanie Taylor was somewhat okay. I know she could’ve done way better.
Honestly, there are far better movies than this one. If you looking for a movie with very, very, very little frights, handprints all over the place, and complete boredom, then this movie is for you. If not, then watch something else.
