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Rating: 1 out of 5
Let me state this. The Haunting is a reimagining of the 1959 novel The Haunting of Hill House by Shirley Jackson and the 1963 British psychological horror film adaptation with which it shares its name. Now, you might be wondering if this is the same Hill House that Netflix did. The answer is a definite yes. The Netflix version is AMAZING, SCARY, FRIGHTFUL, and overall entertaining. That show does the book justice and is a MUST watch.
The Haunting, on the other hand, is beyond a disappointing movie that relies more heavily on its special effects and the crazy design of the house than the actual story and character development. Actually, if you are looking for a really good laugh, then this is the film for you. You will get ZERO frights! If you flinch or even jump a tad bit, then you should be ashamed of yourself. Now let me see if I can write something about this film.
After caring for her mother for the past 11 years, Eleanor Vance finds herself at odds with her sister and brother-in-law. They have decided to kick the homegirl out of the very home she lived in and sell it off. Angered by the decision, Eleanor receives a call to meet at Hill House for Dr. Marrow’s sleeping disorder studies, along with three other people. With nowhere else to go, she decides to be part of the study. At the house, she first meets Mr. and Mrs. Dudley (Dern and Seldes), a strange pair of caretakers who tell her that no one will be around and that they won’t be able to hear them as the next town is four miles away. During the walk around, Eleanor meets Luke Sanderson (Wilson) and Theodora “Theo” for short (Zeta-Jones), along with Dr. Marrow (Neeson) and his two research assistants. The first night seems calm as they sit around and talk. While one of the assistants plays the piano, a piano string pops and sends them to a hospital for the night. As the group stays in the house, Eleanor starts hearing the children’s voices, along with Theo being terrorized. As the frights become harder to bear, they soon learn that the house’s original owner, Hugh Crain’s soul is in the house. He is haunting them for one single purpose, to retrieve a lost family member and bring their soul into darkness. Now the group must find a way to escape the clutches of the house before they are killed.
Let’s talk about the good of this film. It should be relatively quick because there wasn’t too much that was great about it. First, the special effects were above average and the highlight of this film. Hugh Crain looked like a Dementor from Harry Potter. The way the film made the house “seem” possessed from that one scene when Eleanor was in bed and the eyes looking down on her. Once again, the film had its moments with some great special effects. The second aspect that makes this film somewhat tolerable is looking at the creepiness of the house. The house seems larger than life as some of the doors look like they were made for giants. The designs would make the Haunted Mansion in Disneyland/Disney world blush. The guests’ rooms are enormous and larger than life. There was one room where you had to walk on books. Then the little kid’s carvings and how their faces seemed to change when danger was around. Everything about the house and its details is very well done, and whoever thought of them needs to be applauded.
Now with that out of the way, let’s talk about the story or lack thereof. I don’t know what was going on with this film. Did you think this was a scary movie because it sure as hell wasn’t! Nothing in this film scared me, and it was almost downright laughable. When the first haunting came, and the girls were locked in their rooms, it was ridiculous because you were wondering what was going on. Actually, you were wondering what was going on for most of the film. You had the house making a phone call, then stuff appeared out of nowhere, and then suddenly, we find out one of the characters is related to someone in the past. It was awful and made my head hurt.
All of the characters were a complete bore. Lili Taylor as Eleanor “Nell” Vance tried her best to make her character seem like a sympathetic person who had fallen on hard times, but the performance came off as weak and stale. Catherine Zeta-Jones was just eye-candy for the whole movie. Owen Wilson was a guy who was just all over the place. Actually, out of everyone, he was the dude that was expendable. None of the characters made me feel anything. After a while, the mentality of, “If they live, they live, but if they die, no need to feel bad.”
Don’t waste your time on this film. Don’t waste two hours of your precious life, even thinking about this film. If you want to explore Hill House, watch the Netflix series. You will love that way more, and it is beyond excellent. As for the Haunting, dwell somewhere so no one can find you.
