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Rating: 2 out of 5
I have been impressed with all the Woody Allen films that have won Academy Awards. All the films have been entertaining, and I find myself enjoying them. When I saw this film on my list, I didn’t even know it was a Woody Allen film. It wasn’t until his name showed up on the opening credits that I got a little excited. The last film I saw of his was Hannah and Her Sisters. Allen’s films are always funny and have a great story behind them. When I started watching Vicky Cristina Barcelona, I thought it would be another classic Allen film. Many other people and critics probably enjoyed this film. I will admit that I didn’t like this film at all. I wasn’t impressed or entertained.
Vicky Cristina Barcelona revolves around two friends, Vicky (Hall) and Cristina (Johansson). The two besties decided to visit Barcelona for the summer and stay with Vicky’s distant relative, Judy, and her husband, Mark. When they say opposites attract, it comes to friends, as Vicky and Cristina are opposites when it comes to love. Vicky is practical and traditional in her approach to love and is currently engaged to a good and reliable guy named Doug. On the other hand, Cristina is a freak and wants to be spontaneous but doesn’t know what she wants in love and life.
During an art exhibition, Cristina becomes interested in artist Juan Antonio (Bardem). Judy says homeboy is drama as he was in a toxic relationship with his ex-wife. During dinner, Juan is a straight-up pimp, G, and playa. This dude walks up to Vicky and Cristina and, in his sexy and seductive accent, invites them to join him for a weekend in the city of Oviedo, where they will sightsee, eat the finest of foods, drink fantastic wine, and have passionate sex, with each other. Cristina is like, “Sign me the fuck up,” whereas Vicky is repulsed by the idea. With Cristina going, Vicky accompanies her friend and watches over her.
Juan Antonio tries to get Vicky in his hotel room, but homegirl stays strong to her man, Doug. Cristina is down, but she ends up getting food poisoning. With Cristina out of commission, Juan Antonio and Vicky hang out with them, talking about Maria Elena (Cruz) and visiting Juan Antonio’s father. Then boom, Vicky breaks and sleeps with Juan Antonio. These hoes not loyal. When the weekend passes, Cristina feels better, and Vicky keeps her mouth shut.
Upon returning to Barcelona, Vicky throws herself into her studies, and Doug while Cristina and Juan Antonio become a thing. Hell, Cristina even moves in with Juan Antonio, and things seem blissful when María Elena. How does she return? She tries to kill herself, and Juan Antonio takes her in. This love affair becomes a major three-way, and everything seems great. Maria Elena even opens Cristina’s mind to new things. When Cristina states that she is leaving and finding her own happiness, toxic relationships enter the scene again.
Vicky, meanwhile, still has feelings for Juan Antonio and realizes she is not being fulfilled in her marriage. Vicky learns from Judy that she is also unhappy in her marriage. Vicky walks in on Judy making out with another man, and then playing the card of Mark is terrific, but blah. Judy tries to get Vicky and Juan Antonio together again. When Vicky and Juan Antonio get together, Maria Elena loses her mind and accidentally shoots Vicky in the hand. After that, Vicky becomes “loyal” to Doug, and Cristina wonders what love is.
I don’t want to stand on a soap box, but both sides are at fault. We live in a world now where women complain there are no real men, and men complain that women aren’t loyal. I think this is why I didn’t like the story of this film. I’m good with Cristina because she is single and free. She is trying to find love. The biggest issue I have is with Vicky and Judy. If you are unfulfilled with your marriages and relationships, get divorced or don’t get engaged. Both women cheat on their spouses and then want to play the victim. As I learned, cheating doesn’t just happen; it is a choice. Both make the choice to cheat. They both have great men, and they spread their legs. This is aggravating me, and I can feel my blood boiling.
As far as the performances go, everyone did well but one who went above and beyond. Scarlett Johansson, as Cristina, was cute and fun-loving. I liked this character because she was trying to find her way in the area of love. When you are single, mingle baby. She was in a new country; she might as well play and have her fun. Rebecca Hall as Vicky was good, but I didn’t like her character at all. She is trying to stand on this high ground and claim she is loyal when she is the least loyal person out of all the characters. I can’t stand this character, but I give it to Hall. She played this role wonderfully if I have those feelings. I must give major props to Javier Bardem as Juan Antonio Gonzalo. Bardem was perfect in this role as the artist who can sweet talk anyone. I’m not even a girl, and dude could sweet talk me. I wish I had half the amount of sex appeal and charm as this man and character.
The one person who needs to be given the most credit is Penélope Cruz as María Elena. Cruz was amazing as Maria Elena. I don’t care if she is crazy or has the option of being in a toxic relationship; she is beyond beautiful. Cruz played Maria as a person in love but with issues. I love how she spoke Spanish and didn’t care who was around. She was sexy and trouble all over and I was down for it.
No matter how I feel, Vicky Cristina Barcelona is a decent movie to others but definitely not my cup of tea. As far as other Woody Allen films, this one can be skipped. My biggest issue is with Vicky and Judy and their trifling ways. Watch this film for the fantastic performance of Penélope Cruz, but besides that, please skip it.
