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Rating: 4.5 out of 5
Ready or not, here I come, you can’t hide
Gonna find you and take it slowly
Ready or not (Uh-huh), here I come, you can’t hide
Gonna find you and make you want me
Via: Fugees, Ready or Not, The Score (1996)
Give it to the Fugees to start this review off on the horror film Ready or Not. If you are like me, you had a nice childhood where you played with your friends. One of the games you played has to be Hide-and-Seek. You know the game where one kid counts from ten while their friends hide. The kid who counted yells, “Ready or Not! Here I Come!” before trying to track down their friends. I played this game quite a bit when I was growing up. Sometimes it was best to play this at night, when you could sneak and make it back to home base.
Sometimes children’s games are not as fun as they can be when you enter into a new marriage and play with the in-laws who made a deal with the devil. The film, Ready or Not, is directed by Matt Bettinelli-Olpin and Tyler Gillett, written by Guy Busick and R. Christopher Murphy, and starring Samara Weaving, Adam Brody, Mark O’Brien, Elyse Levesque, Nicky Guadagni, Henry Czerny, and Andie MacDowell. Let me tell you, this film is incredible, and shit goes down in ways you never expected.
The film begins with young brothers Alex (O’Brien) and Daniel Le Domas (Brody) witnessing a man being killed on the wedding night of their Aunt Helene (Guadagni). Daniel is suddenly confronted by Charles (Anthoney) in the family mansion. Charles is seriously wounded and begging for help from Daniel. Daniel yells, alerting his family, who roll up in ceremonial masks and robes. Despite Helene’s cries, Charles is shot with a spear-gun and dragged away. Daniel is congratulated by the family, who say they are incredibly proud of him and that he did the right thing.
The film jumps thirty years, showing Alex returning home to marry his beautiful fiancée, Grace (Weaving). Grace was a former foster child who dreamed of having a family. Over the years, Alex has had a falling-out with his family and is estranged from the owners of the highly successful Le Domas Family Games company. Grace believes that Alex’s family hates her as she is not rich and unworthy, but she wants to prove that she is the shit. Alex doesn’t want her to meet his family and does the let’s go to the courthouse, get hitched, and bounce, but Grace wants to prove herself. On their wedding night, Alex tells Grace that as a family tradition, everyone marrying into the family must play a game. The game starts at midnight. The rules are simple: Grace must draw a random card from the box and play whatever is written on the card.
Sitting in on the game is Alex, Daniel, who is a straight-up alcoholic, Emilie (Scrofano), their drug addicted sister, the king of the household and father, Tony (Czerny), the queen of the household and mother, Becky (MacDowell), Daniel’s stick up her ass and snobbish wife, Charity (Levesque), Emilie’s whipped and whiny husband, Fitch (Bruun) and finally Helene, the aunt. Emilie also has two kids named Georgie and Gabe (Tavares). Becky greets Grace with love, happy that Alex has returned to the family. As the family sits, Tony explains that their wealth comes from their ancestor. In a flashback, we learn that it began with Victor Le Domas, who was a printing press owner. One day, Victor made a deal with a mysterious man named Le Bail on a boat sailing to America. Le Bail was a collector of the finest and most unusual antiques. Le Bail and Le Domas learned that they shared a passion for the game of chance. Le Bail gives Le Domas a mysterious box and says that if he solves it by morning, he will give a prize. Le Domas manages this, and Le Bail gives the future that he would build a vast and powerful empire, but the only catch is that any new member into his family, a blank card is inserted into the box, and he will pick the game to play. From then on, an ancient power watches over the family and their wealth. Today, Tony is extremely wealthy, owning several pro sports teams and a lucrative gaming empire.
Tony asks Grace to join in the tradition and pull from the box. Grace, amused at the story, draws a card labeled “Hide and Seek.” Grace thinks that the game will be fun, runs off, and hides. She doesn’t know that the Le Domases are quickly arming themselves with all sorts of weapons to hunt her ass down and kill her before the morning sun rises. Grace is about to learn this evening that the story is true, and the family is fucked up beyond belief.
From this point, this film is WILD but fun to watch. I must admit that I wasn’t expecting how good this film was. First, the film’s story and thrill-seeking style draw you in. Turning a simple children’s game into a hunt for survival was excellent. At first, Grace thinks it is a simple game when she has her “OH SHIT!” moment. When she sees Emilie accidentally kill one of the maids named Clara, believing it to be her. As she runs for her life, she finds Alex, who says the card she pulled is the only one that requires the family to kill the recipient (i.e., you done picked the worst card ever). They believe that Grace survives until dawn, the entire family will die as per the agreement with Le Bail.
What I love about this film is the change Grace makes. At first, she was scared and angry, but she says fuck it and decides to survive at all costs. When she fights back, she manages to outsmart several members, like the butler. The craziest scene was when Dora accidentally crushes herself, but also the barn scene. She knocks the fuck out of Georgie and falls into a pit where she finds the decaying bodies of the previous sacrifices. How many people has this family killed? The nail in the hand was disgusting, but seeing her pull herself out made you want to gag. Throughout the whole film, you wanted to see if Grace could survive.
The ending was a chef’s kiss. When you think all hope is lost for Grace, who had been captured, the sun slowly rises, and as Jigsaw says, “GAME OVER!” To see what happens in the end was CRAZY!! I think I said out loud, “OH SHIT!” while rewinding and rewatching. When Grace says, “In-Laws,” it was the perfect ending for this film because sometimes in-laws can be such a pain in the ass.
I want to say that all the performances in this film were great, and there wasn’t a single person who did a shit job. Samara Weaving was great in this role as the lovely, innocent bride whose world is turned upside down during her wedding night. I love how she went from scared bride to gun-wielding, kick ass woman all in a wedding dress. If you are going to kick ass like that, I would be happy to marry you.
This film was a joy to watch, and I highly recommend it. Taking a kid’s game and turning it into a horror movie can always be a risky challenge. There are many films out there that are modeled after something and suck ass. This film did a great job with the story, the horror/thriller elements, and the world-building, setting up a world where the protagonist must survive at all costs. Every actor did a great job, especially Samara Weaving. Definitely watch this film and don’t draw the wrong card.
